You first …

Dear Friends,

I took the luxury of a long walk by myself last Sunday and made what feels like a fresh realization. I sometimes try to reach a resolution with my husband Sam before I have reached one with myself. And that can’t really happen.

Sometimes I want closure so much that I speak or act prematurely. Maybe I’m even conciliatory. That old Junior High School thing of being mad at somebody never made sense to me. Either I want you in my life or I don’t. Either way is okay, but I’m not “mad” at you.

The problem with my approach is that I may “patch” things up, without actually resolving them.

And it’s not just a matter of my reaching resolution. It’s a matter of giving a partner (or anybody) the space to process their own issues before pushing for closure. “Pushing” for anything can be the long road to getting it.

And we don’t serve ourself or anybody else by merely “patching” things up. Let’s devote the time and attention necessary to process critical issues of the heart. Let’s trust love through uncertainty and expand our comfort zone. And let’s not deceive ourselves into thinking that we can’t do better!

I know I can. And I will

Love and smiles,