What women want …

Men — and even women — have struggled for centuries to figure out what women want. At times (yes, it’s cyclical), it seems there is no pleasing them with anything.

I could tell you what women want, but it occurs to me that it’s easier to tell you what they don’t want.

Women don’t want a fraidy cat. And the rest is up for grabs — it depends on the woman and her preferences. I know … that’s an unsophisticated response to Freud’s: “Despite my 30 years of research into the feminine soul, I have not been able to answer … the great question that has never been answered: What does a woman want?”

Stay with me, though. If a man’s not afraid, he’s not intimidated by a woman’s intelligence. He appreciates her intuition. He’s not threatened by her emotions, however cyclical; and he’s not embarrassed by his own. He’s strong and vulnerable. He’s true to himself … and that means, according to Shakespeare, he’s true to her.

I could probably rest my case now, but I have another 450 words.

You’ve probably heard how not being afraid of rejection works when you’re selling life insurance. There’s an old story about a man who was offered one dollar for every “no” he got. With nothing to lose and a dollar to gain, he fearlessly approached prospects. Consequently, he got rich.

Let that open your eyes! In relationships, you have nothing to lose by asking, and the woman of your dreams to gain. You won’t immediately know if you’ve found “the one,” but the door will be open to you.

Are you beginning to see the glory of not being afraid? You can get the woman you want … and she’s going to love you for you!

Just don’t confuse fearlessness with arrogance or chauvinism. Remember the movie “What Women Want” with Mel Gibson and Helen Hunt? It painted a clear picture of how women can be turned off by macho behavior.

Here’s a note from a client that explains what you might aim for:

“Things seem to be different. People are looking at me and seeing something in me. It’s like I’m being noticed, I’m someone they would like to know. And I’m seeing women I never saw before.

I thought about what I was feeling when these people looked at me. I wasn’t worried about whether somebody said “hi” back to me when I said “hi,” or whether they liked me or not. I felt like, I don’t need you to make me happy, I’m fine by myself. I mean I didn’t feel like a snob or I was better. I was just me, and I’m a nice guy, and you’re beautiful.”

The goal is to trust yourself and the outcome. Know and like who you are. And remember that somebody’s response to you can’t change you … and it doesn’t have to change your opinion of yourself.

When you have the courage to be you, regardless of the consequences, women will respect you. And it really is OK if they don’t like you, but some of them will. You’re giving them what they most want in a man — somebody who can handle what comes his way, without losing himself.

Here’s the boon! What a woman wants from you is also what she wants from herself — freedom from the need for approval, permission to just be who she is. If you can help her to venture out of her comfort zone, instead of feeding her fear, you’ll be a true hero!

You and the woman of your dreams can be respected friends and trusted confidants, talk about anything and share everything. You can walk and run and fly without being afraid of falling, because falling won’t stop you. You can live happily ever after.

So, don’t be a fraidy cat. Give women what they want. It’s what you want, too!