Meeting our own needs can be one of our biggest challenges in a relationship. But when we have aligned our needs and desires with love (in the broad sense of the word), we can trust that meeting them serves our highest good–and our partner’s.
If I share my needs/feelings to make my partner guilty and me right, then he (or she) is likely to respond the way a fan responds to shit. But if I share because not to share would be to deny or compromise who I am, then he’s likely to honor (and be served by) my sharing–even if he can’t be supportive. If when my sharing comes from love, he still treats it like shit, I may want to take my feelings elsewhere. And I can do so with peace.
If I move on, or stay, trying to meet my ego’s needs, I don’t have that peace. I have unrest.
I have what I have when I don’t do what I need to do for me. What I need to do for me is to be true to myself. It’s a simple truth, but easy to lose, whether we’re in a relationship or not.
If I’m still looking for a partner, my true self wants a trusted companion who tunes into me. My ego may be screaming for money or muscle. My ego may want a man who prefers a brunette. My true self wants a man who has moved beyond such a preference! When I go for what my ego wants, instead of what my true self wants, I am at odds–not just with a partner, but with myself. I have unrest.
Tune into your true self … and don’t shy away from meeting your needs.