At a bridal shower, two of the guests brought their babies — not the screaming ones, the sweet and adorable ones. As host, I watched as 20 women with different backgrounds and personalities also became sweet and adorable!
Babies, particularly our own, bring out our heroics. I have seen moms and dads do what they didn’t know they could do. The gruff learn to talk “baby.” The anal learn to handle mess. I thought for sure one of my tablecloths would be done in by strawberries and chocolate, but it didn’t matter.
Babies reach beyond our superficial exteriors (driven by our egos and insecurities) to what’s inside. And what’s inside all of us is the same.
I observed 20 women demonstrate an unconditional acceptance of the babies that they may not have been ready to demonstrate toward the other women at the shower! The conclusion: Babies are good therapy!
This is not news. You have likely watched as a baby melted everybody’s heart at a doctor’s office or a family reunion. And surely God knowingly planned for babies to remain a part of our lives.
The take-away: Apply the same caring and tolerance that we have for babies to everybody else! Adults are expected to be more self-sufficient and accountable, but we are all trying … and when we are treated lovingly, we muster more strength to respond lovingly.
As we celebrate mothers and fathers on their respective days, we celebrate the best of humanity, that part of us that is more easily reached by children. We celebrate the kind of love that sees goodness and makes room for forgiveness.
Growing up, we tend to assume that our parents are “right” — at least until we hit adolescence. Later, as young adults, our parents’ mistakes may seem glaring. Somewhere along the way, though, we recognize our own mistakes as well-meaning parents.
That helps us to put things in perspective. Parents are human beings doing the best they can in the moment, as they fall down and get up again. The most we can hope for is to learn from the falls — another part of the plan.
Chances are, some of your best attempts to love well have been (or will be) with your children. And while we can sit back and find fault with both the efforts and the results, we can also see that children evoke the best of us.
I remember being in a hotel room with five nieces and nephews (long before a bridal shower was in sight). During the night, while the children slept, I started for the bathroom, but couldn’t stand on my foot — apparently too much broad-jumping in the playground.
I had committed to taking them to Epcot in the morning! The front desk quietly delivered pillows to elevate my leg and ice to reduce the swelling. By morning I was fine, because I had to be. I wanted to be!
And somehow I found time to throw a bridal shower … and I did it with great joy! “Children” continue to bring out the best in us. And our best keeps getting better, provided we are open to learning.
Accordingly, parents tend to loosen the reigns with their younger children. They are less afraid of messing up … and less fear means purer love.
I suppose that makes all of us good candidates to show love to other people’s children! And as we do that, we paint a picture of love at its best. We remind ourselves, and others, of humanity’s goodness.
We don’t have to be in crisis to pull together and see the love we all have in common. We only have to continue the species with a quiet awareness.