Drinking alcohol to free yourself?

It was Christmas Eve. And he had a glass of wine to “take the edge off.” Then, he had another, without realizing that he was drinking on an empty stomach. I didn’t like what I saw. Did I like him better when he was more guarded, and less real?

It was a couple days before the truth struck me like, “You knew that.” The wine didn’t free his true self. It freed his ego. No wonder I found it unappealing. I didn’t like his ego anymore than I liked mine. But, I still liked him. I still loved HIM.

A story came back to me.It was about 25 years ago when I decided to give drinking a try. I had abstained all my life, on the principle that I wanted to be free without relying on alcohol to loosen me up. So, in the spirit of fairness, I drank enough to get tipsy a few times. I found that it gave me a permission slip, or an excuse, to indulge my ego and show off in public. Fun. But I don’t want to be fun at the expense of my integrity. No judgment here, but I know myself; and I betrayed my truth. And there is no excuse for that. No good reason for that. Nothing that makes it worth it.

When I need to take the edge off, I don’t need an excuse to unleash my ego. That’s a temporary feel good that I can postpone paying for; but it’s always overpriced. When I’m on edge, what I really want to do is reconnect with my source. I want to take a deep breath and remember who I am. I want to remind myself of my boundless spirit. I want to remember that it’s my ego, and not my spirit, that gets stressed. I want to remember to choose spirit over ego, or love over fear. We can’t pay too much for love. It is the proverbial pearl of great price.

Love smiles on you,