Do you make excuses for why you’re not in a relationship, as though it’s about somebody or something else?

It’s about you.

If you’re willing to assume responsibility for yourself, you’ll find the love you want. Think of it as taking a promotion. Responsibility is a privilege. The more you take on, the more empowered you are to effect change.

It’s easier to stay on the couch and whine about how you can’t meet somebody, but that gets you the same old same old. Not what you want.

In “Get Over Yourself!” matchmaker Patti Novak says she tells clients what their friends won’t. She’s not afraid to tell them that they talk too much, could use a haircut or should have only one cat instead of 12.

Her advice is somebody’s-got-to-go-there-with-you practical!

“One of the biggest obstacles people have in finding love is not knowing how to behave — what to say and what not to say, how to act and how not to act — when they’re out in public with someone they’ve just met,” says Novak.

Ah, but she also says that love isn’t about having the right shoes or a flat stomach.

Of course it’s not, but there are people out there who would tell you that it is, and give you a quick fix or an easy formula.… More

Afraid that we weren’t “good enough,” we masked love’s perfection to win approval. We can’t be happy wearing a mask, though. We can only be happy as naked love. So happy!… More

When you are truly happy with you, you know how others fit in to (or out of) your life. You trust life’s flow. Your happiness is nurtured by the tide, your peace is reinforced by the waves. … More