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Consider Your Own Role First

Sam and I are still learning to bike TOGETHER. I’m still learning to bike! So, he’s the leader. It took me a while, but I started thinking it would be easier, if he paid more attention to me (that’s telling, right?). Maybe he could give me a heads-up when he was about to slow down, or turn. I am, after all, still wobbly, leary of traffic, and trying to figure out how to stop and get a foot on the ground before I fall. Then, duh! I realized that I could pay more attention to HIM! Turned out, if I backed away from him a little bit, I could see him slowing down, and even know when he was preparing to slow down by watching his legs! And, who knew, I could see him turn before I had to turn! This is NOT a story about how to bike. I don’t know how to bike. This is a story about how to live. Always consider your role, before critiquing somebody else’s!… More

Another layer …

As you let people get closer to you, they’ll trigger wounds you’ve yet to heal. Deeper intimacy always offers us a chance to heal on a deeper level. Be grateful for the closeness and unashamed of the wounds.… More

Looking Beyond the Ego

Once we recognize the shiny armor as ego, it’s no longer pretty. But the wounded child behind it is still easy to love. … More

Resolve or Win?

When we’re open to resolution, to a win-win, it’s not difficult to find one. It’s when we want to make somebody else lose that we have a fight — and blood — on our hands. It’s when we are afraid to lose (the argument or whatever it is we’re clutching) that we can’t dismiss the anger. We WANT something to be angry about, somebody to blame for something.
When we choose love, it displaces anger and fear. And when we choose love, we also choose peace. … More

Honesty Is Part of Your Commitment

Commitment is an ongoing decision—whether it’s made consciously or unconsciously. And being honest about what you’re feeling today is even more important to a healthy relationship than keeping a commitment you made yesterday. … More

Love Perseveres!

The following quote from Calvin Coolidge, the 30th president of the United States, has always been one of my favorites:
Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan ‘Press On’ has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.
I have found comfort over the years in knowing that I didn’t have to be the most talented or the most educated person to get the job done. It is progressively clear to me, though, that persistence develops talent and spurs learning. It uncovers the genius in each of us.
Persistence is more than determination and resolve. It is work. It is the effort that must be rewarded. It is the practice that makes perfect.
Persistence is not merely hanging in there long enough. It is learning what creates the desired result — often after learning what does not. It is honing your skill and refining your love. It is believing that you can make a difference. It is trusting the outcome.… More