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How well do you really love others?

It can be tempting to gratify your ego by doing for others what they would be better off doing for themselves, rather than face what you need to do for yourself. It can even be perceived as unselfish, by the selfish.

Taking care of yourself is critical to loving yourself, though; and you can’t love others any better than you love yourself. Love YOU! … More

No place to run … come home to love

I remember running away as a little girl. I got as far as the backseat of the car. Huddled up on the floor, I realized that I had no place to run.

Still don’t. There IS no place to escape our “stuff.” We can face it, though. We can deal with it. We can realize that it’s okay, that we’re okay.

It’s still January. If you haven’t looked your issues square in the eye and figured out that they’re rooted in fear, it’s the perfect time to do that. You’re in charge.

When you run away, you don’t just lose sight of you, you lose sight of love, of God, of all that is good. Remember what you’re made of!… More

What does ideal look like?

Valentine’s Day taps your fantasy. You may be perfectly content until Cupid rears his head with images of what could be … and makes that frozen dinner in front of the TV look downright pitiful.

Don’t confuse you with pitiful!

Close your eyes, take a deep breath and relax. As you get sleepier, imagine your ideal romantic relationship. Look at the details. How do you feel? What do you look like? Where are you? What are you doing? Who is your partner?

Wake up, but don’t dismiss your dream as impossible.

Next, close your eyes and look objectively at your life as it is. Look at the details, and ask yourself the same questions.

Again, don’t confuse you with pitiful.

Identify the disparities between the two pictures. What stops you from living your ideal life? Is it really your ideal life … or is it just some fantasy you conjured up when you were 16?

Whenever and whatever, you created the fantasy. You also created the reality. You can change both.

Now, be honest with yourself. Are you “perfectly content” until Cupid shows up? Or are you perfectly complacent?

When YOU live up to your ideal, so does your reality.

Take the time to know what your ideal relationship — and life — really looks like.… More

Are you reassessing your New Year’s resolutions yet?

What do you really want to BE this year? When you truly know that, you will also know what you want to DO. And doing it will become second nature!

We’ve established that the best way to eat, exercise, or make love well is to get in the habit of doing it well. The easiest way to form a habit is with motivation. And the healthiest motivation is positive.

Don’t get caught up in what you should do, and don’t act from guilt or fear. Take care of yourself because you WANT to be a vibrant, healthy person–not because you’re afraid of dying. Get up in the morning and paint because you WANT to be a painter–not because you have to go to work, not because you should provide for your family.

If you can’t do what you’re doing because it’s a reflection of who you WANT to BE, take another look at what you’re doing. And if your resolutions for this year don’t reflect who you WANT to BE, reassess them…and your motivation.

Look at who you want to be–who you ARE at a core level–and ask yourself what that person would do that you’re not doing. Write down your answers.… More

Looking for a more direct path?

Most of us get very little formal training for relationships. We read articles, books, maybe even take a class; but the bulk of our training is based on our experience.

How much do you know? And how much of that do you actually practice?

If you want a more direct path to the relationship of your dreams, text me to schedule a consultation … or come to my next live workshop in Florida on February 10. … More

How much baggage do you want to carry?

Are you traveling through life with more or less baggage this week, this month, this year? Want to take a load off?

Look at your baggage. You’re in charge of evaluating it, setting limits, deciding what you can’t take with you, what you don’t want to take with you.

Love is enough! But without love, there’s an awful lot of baggage … and it feels like you need it! … More