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Resolve to be happy this year!

Life is about falling down and learning from it, getting up and starting again. And if that doesn’t sound like fun to you, just watch a baby do it. Better yet, let the baby wrap his little fingers around yours and help him learn to walk. Look into his twinkling eyes and see if you don’t get a new perspective on resilience — joy in the stumbling and peace in the falling. There might be some cries and screams, but they won’t keep him down. With a little coaxing, you can turn his cries into smiles and laughter.

Why not encourage yourself—particularly in relationships when you can’t believe you messed up again? Believe in yourself? Show compassion and understanding for you? Don’t lose sight of the baby, or that pristine goodness, in you, your partner, and in everybody else. It hasn’t gone anywhere.

Yes, you have grown-up problems, and you’ve taken some tough falls. Like me, you’ve probably curled up and sobbed what felt like hopeless sobs. And maybe you’ve filed away enough lousy memories to make any person angry and bitter — any person who wanted to be, that is.

After you’ve aired all of your grievances, the hard knocks and the heartaches, with all the should-haves and if-onlys, ask yourself this question: Do you want to be happy anyway?… More

You are love … is there really anything more you could want?

From the time we learn the word “no,” we begin to get the message that what we would do naturally is “bad.”

As young children, we can’t make a distinction between our behavior and ourselves, so we buy into a lie — the lie that in order to be good enough we have to sit still and be quiet, or look pretty, or SOMETHING. But you know as well as I do that some of the demands we place on children (and ourselves) are more apt to stifle them than make them good.

“Even if you were fortunate enough to grow up in a safe, nurturing environment, you still bear invisible scars from childhood, because from the very moment you were born you were a complex, dependent creature with a never-ending cycle of needs. Freud correctly labeled us ‘insatiable beings.’ And no parents, no matter how devoted, are able to respond perfectly to all of these changing needs,” says Harville Hendrix in his bestselling “Getting the Love You Want.”

We have a fundamental motivation to be accepted, which is why you might jump to defend yourself, your parents, your children (even while reading this). Rejection used to point to a problem that needed our attention, and our survival depended on how sensitive and responsive we were.… More

No fear in love …

If we trust life to continually lead us to purer love (and everything good), it does. Fear is the only thing that can deter us, the only thing that can taint love. … More

When you get scared, you stop trusting …

Maybe you’ve wanted a partner for a long time. And maybe about the time you think you’re finally ready, and it doesn’t happen, you get scared. Fear wreaks havoc on love; trust breeds love.
I’ve spent the last twenty years making a full-time study of love; and it’s easy for me to believe. I’m standing with you. And if you want more personalized help than that, I’m here.… More

Think what you WANT!

Whether you think your destiny is predetermined or not, you still choose. Maybe you choose as though you can’t win; maybe you choose as though you can’t lose. Either way, you’re right!… More

Stifle yourself, and your stifle your relationship …

In a satisfying relationship, both partners play the role of teacher and student. If you think you have nothing to learn from your partner, whether you’re right or wrong, you do a disservice to both of you by staying in the relationship. … More