Uncategorized – Page 855

Is your gratitude selective?

When we trust God to provide what serves our highest good in the moment, we can be continuously grateful for everything!

The lessons are as valuable as the rewards they bring! … More

All grown up, we still cry out in distress …

Ten years ago (but my husband remembers), I turned the light out and started to climb into bed when I felt something moving around near my ear. Shrieking, I asked Sam (who was already snug in bed) to turn the light back on. My distress escalated, and I found myself screaming, begging him to please hurry.

When he got to me, I was cupping my ear. As I let go of it, I released a small flying insect. “Why didn’t you just shoo it away?” asked Sam.

At that, I started to cry. And he could see I was upset. Then, we both got back in bed; as we snuggled, I continued to cry and fell asleep.

The next morning, I remembered what happened. And, with a sheepish grin, I said to him, “I wonder if I had some traumatic experience with an insect when I was a little girl.” Clearly (to both of us, I’m sure) I had overreacted.

It was later that day when I realized what actually transpired. For sure, I was startled by the insect and felt helpless in the dark. But when Sam responded with obvious nonchalance to my distress, I lost it and started crying.… More

We cheat to get what we’re missing …

From a reader: “I thought I was giving him everything he wanted. Apparently, I had no idea what he really wanted … maybe I never had it to give.”

Why does a partner cheat? Somebody, typically in an emotionally charged state, has been asking that question since the first betrayal.

Studies, by presumably objective scientists, show that men generally cheat because they want more sex or variety — they’re biologically programmed to sow their seed widely. Women, on the other hand, tend to cheat because they want more emotional connection or validation.

Yes, there are other reasons…but it’s safe to say that when a partner cheats, they want something that they are not getting. And when the relationship lacks what one partner wants, it almost certainly lacks what the other partner wants as well. Still, the cheated partner is often devastated.

Men and women alike beat themselves up for not seeing it coming or not doing something to prevent it. Though, some of them, as you know, are more inclined (at least when talking out loud) to beat their partners up for lacking control, or emotional stability or decency.

Truth is, we’re all doing the best we can and learning — even if at a painfully slow rate — to do better.… More

How do we stop struggling in a relationship?

Loving a partner (or anybody) will always be an ongoing choice. But that doesn’t mean it has to be an ongoing struggle!

There’s only a struggle when there’s conflict, or dissonance; and there’s only dissonance when we don’t align our thoughts and behaviors with our values.

As we align with every aspect of what we know love to be, we also give up the struggle.… More