… More
We get what we give …
When I lost my last massage therapist to a full-time job, I tried another one. And during the first few massages, I offered feedback, suggestions, preferences. Still, I didn’t feel like he was giving me his best massage. I thought he was trying too hard. I wanted relaxed energy. And then came a duh!
What’s missing in any situation is what’s missing in me. It’s what I’m not giving. I needed to relax and trust! I needed to stop trying so hard to get a good massage, to get a return on my time and money!
I explained this to the therapist; and then I kept my mouth shut for a massage. It was incredible … by far, the best massage he has given me. The first one was very good; I just knew it wasn’t his best work. It wasn’t my best work! … More
Sex … how to finally get enough
We confuse sex with love. And because we can’t get enough sex to satisfy our need for love, we’re hooked on sex and hungry for love. But we keep trying; because infatuation and orgasm do open a window into love. We involuntarily drop our boundaries and connect with somebody. Somebody gets us! And that’s the love we want … but the boundaries automatically go up again.
We’re left wanting, and we Band-aid the ouch; but behind that ouch is the belief that we are somehow unlovable. We have to replace that lie with the truth, in order to heal the wound. Then, rather than hiding parts of who we are for fear of rejection, we can share our nakedness to know authentic love–with sex as a byproduct, rather than a substitute.… More
Why do women withhold sex in a committed relationship?
This question was posed by a friend yesterday in response to my posted article “What do women really want from sex?”
There’s more than one reason, right? I offer six of them:
1. Some women use sex as a path to marriage and/or children; and they’re less apt to “put out” after they’ve married and/or given birth.
2. Some use sex as a tool to get something else they want, withholding sex until they get it.
3. Likewise, some withhold sex as a form of punishment.
4. Some see sex as an investment in their relationship; and they stop investing when they become generally dissatisfied.
5. Some feel less attracted to their partner–or less sexual in general.
6. Some get their pleasure elsewhere.
A woman who has learned to love herself well no longer uses sex to manipulate her partner. And if she’s less interested in sex, she openly communicates that; but it doesn’t stop her from expressing her love.… More
We can’t have self-love without humility …
We don’t have to choose between self-love and humility. When we have self-love, we will also have humility!
To truly love ourselves, we must get to know ourselves. Yes, to know you is to love you. And when you know who you are, without the packaging, you know who everybody else is. You share the same essence. There is no more pride, no more shame. There is humility.… More
To know the absolute best of life …
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