… More
Trust …
Love is everywhere, within and without. But we can’t force love, because to force love is to doubt love. And doubt, birthed by fear, displaces love.
Trust nurtures love.… More
There’s more than one way to betray your partner, and yourself …
To withhold forgiveness is to withhold love. To stay angry is to withhold love. To deceive is to withhold love. To settle is to withhold love. To withhold your whole heart is to withhold love. To withhold any part of you is to withhold love.
And to withhold love is to betray yourself and your partner.… More
What are you doing with your breath of life?
A scientist, God did not leave our goodness to chance. An artist, he contrasted good with evil, certainty with mystery. And choice is the life he breathed into his creation.… More
Learn Your Partner’s Love Language
We can look on as an aunt and uncle berate each other year after year and know that, despite appearances, they love each other. There was the time when he thought he was going to lose her to cancer, or the time when she jumped to his defense when somebody else attacked him.
Nonetheless, we don’t want to be that couple. So, if the scenario is starting to feel a little too familiar, don’t wait any longer to get off the path.
“I know she loves me, but it sure doesn’t feel like it when she continues to reject 70 percent of my physical advances,” writes a reader.
“The man must love me — he’d do anything for me. But I swear he responds to less than half of what I say,” writes another.
We’re not content to simply know somebody’s love is there for us, should we be in dire need. We want to feel the love and take pleasure in it, day in and day out. That desire is fundamental to being human.
Unfortunately, many people live without the warmth and nourishment of feeling continually loved, despite the fact that they, like the miserable aunt and uncle, are loved.… More
Greener grass is where you decide it is …
She loves me, she loves me not. ‘Tis the season of romance and wildflowers, and they can both be erratic. But if we made them predictable, we’d rob them of their charm and whimsy … and call them by another name.
Romance, the very thing that enraptures us — and inspires commitment — is by nature volatile! It’s no wonder we often struggle to keep a commitment and, subsequently, grow gun-shy.
From one moment to the next, love seems to fluctuate; and so it is that one resorts to pulling petals. It’s not really love that springs up and then disappears, though. It’s our level of satisfaction with our relationship.
And while satisfaction is the most significant factor in commitment, we can gauge our overall satisfaction, rather than making a rash decision in an inflated or deflated moment.
When our satisfaction is low, the grass on the other side of the proverbial fence appears to be greener than it is, according to a commitment model developed by Caryl Rusbult, a noted psychologist. Conversely, when our satisfaction is high, we may dismiss the alternatives as irrelevant or inferior.
Sam (my husband) came up with the idea that when partners disagree, they should imagine that they’re the only two people left on planet earth.… More
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Jan's program for the quest of a lifetime.
Are you ready to live your destiny?