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Love is free!

Do you dress, eat, dance, wear your hair, parent, work, exercise, LIVE the way you would if nobody were watching or judging you? I mean if there were no underwear police, would you still wear them?

You can be free!… More

Have Your Affairs at Home

Illicit affairs are about sex. And it strikes me that at some point we might grow out of their shallow gratification. I can see the jaws dropping.

But come on, sex is, well, sex. It’s two people getting naked — or naked enough — so that they can make sexual contact. It’s a primitive act that satisfies a biological need. I know, I know…it can be much more than that. We’re talking an artful, loving culmination of two souls brushing the heavens and finding oneness.

But, hey, let’s not exalt affairs to that status. Now the protests — don’t tell me…yours was different, right? Or at least you thought it was going to be different!

“Even when we do precisely what others do, we tend to think that we’re doing it for unique reasons,” says Daniel Gilbert in his bestselling “Stumbling on Happiness.” He explains that our mythical belief in our uniqueness prevents us from learning as much as we could from the experience of others.

So if need be, humor me here. Let’s assume affairs are basically about sex. After all, when we say somebody was unfaithful, we generally mean they had sex with somebody other than the person they were committed to.… More

Naked, the only way to be in love …

With the zeal of a diligent seeker, I have researched love and interviewed the experts in order to deliver the goods on intimacy, passion and commitment. The fairy tale is real, but it is more than a happy ending. When we see Cinderella being swept away by the prince, we forget how many years she spent in self-therapy while cleaning her stepmother’s house.

The relationship you want can only be had through hard work on yourself … and that’s the work we do our best to avoid. It’s much easier to shell out money. Americans spend 35 billion dollars a year on unproven diet products because they find it too difficult to eat less.

And eating less is easy compared to getting naked. We’re scared to death to strip away the family, the house, the degree, the job, the kids. We’ve defined ourselves by appearance, grades, athletic ability, good behavior or rebellion as far back as we can remember. You’re not alone if you’re thinking, “Who would I be without all that?” Most of us don’t know.

Strip away what can be quantified, seen or touched, and you have your authentic self. You have that for which you want to be known and loved.… More