Uncategorized – Page 765

When we are closed-minded, we fail to learn from others. That seems pretty obvious.
The biggest problem with being closed-minded, though, is that it keeps us from knowing ourselves. We think we know who we are, but we don’t. We’re holding on to obsolete programming and false beliefs. And we can’t love ourselves (or others) very well without knowing ourselves.

So when I feel closed-minded, judgmental, or just resistant, I can beware the flag. I can open a window in my mind and heart. I can seize the opportunity to identify and embrace new knowledge. With knowledge comes understanding. And with understanding comes acceptance. They are part of love.

I cannot be both closed-minded and loving.

Love smiles,

Jan Denise

PS: This is the love note that opened yesterday’s newsletter. You can sign up to get it every Wednesday by e-mail. … More

You can lose the boredom that follows you!

Too much of a monotonous task, especially with no reward in sight, can understandably bore you; but when boredom follows you from the laundry room to the office to the bedroom, don’t ignore it.

If you’re often bored, scientists say you’re at greater risk of developing anxiety, depression, drug addiction, angry and aggressive behavior, a lack of interpersonal skills and poor performance!

And a new study shows that boredom undermines satisfaction (read: happiness) in relationships, which can make grass on the other side of the fence appear greener than it actually is and ultimately weaken your commitment. The seven-year itch is no coincidence or myth.

If your boredom is based on droning circumstances, you can change them by doing something that enlivens you. If routine is sabotaging your relationship, you can grab your sweetheart and do something that engages both of you. And don’t wait … because the longer you’re bored with circumstances, the more likely you are to get bored with life in general.

So, what if you’ve already crossed that line? Look at when you became disinterested and why. Look at the desires you have repressed and the goals you have given up.

When you’ve lost touch with what rouses your passion, you can find yourself indifferent, with no sense of direction or purpose.… More

We can’t choose both …

There is only love and fear.

And fear, albeit an illusion, allows us the privilege of choice.… More

Learn from sex, apply to life

If you love your partner and want to have sex more often, chances are you feel like something is missing in your relationship.

Part of the solution is finding time for sex. You read the headlines while you put cream in your coffee. You manage to get dinner delivered by pushing two buttons on your phone. And you’ve found a drive-through wash and wax en route from the office. But, you haven’t figured out how to fit sex into your routine.

Maybe you don’t want sex to be routine!

It’s not just a lack of time or planning; it’s a lack of motivation. You up the ante, and the motivation, when you realize that sex is a chance to identify and add what’s missing in your relationship. Going for it is still a challenge, though … one that’s easier to meet with practice, which can require some discipline. You have to make it a priority.

It was easier when you were infatuated and devoting every waking moment to each other. When “real life” kicks in, things inevitably get in the way. One’s late, the other one’s tired, the kids ARE, life is full.

Start where you are, and use what you have.… More