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When we really want a relationship–or anything else–we have to risk falling down. Most of us have attached some stigma to the fall, especially when somebody is watching. But we can’t learn to walk, or dance, or fly, without “falling down.”

We can’t learn to get up without falling down. And we need to know how to get up! Because no matter how hard we try to avoid it, we will take a fall. We can learn to do it well, with grace and honesty.

When we let go of the notion that we should be able to pull off the happily-ever-after without some rough landings, we’re free to walk, leap, run, and fly. We’re free to be who we are! Somebody else can tune into us!

And that IS the fairytale … two people who truly know each other, who aren’t denying the pitfalls, but rather learning to navigate through them! Two people who face each other and life with open eyes, whether they just landed in the dirt or they’re soaring through blue skies.

If you want happily-ever-after skies, learn to hit the dirt and brush it off, without letting it define you. Learn to get up! Way up!… More

Sometimes we really believe that we’re striving for a loving relationship, when actually, we’re trying to get somebody else to conform to OUR IDEA of a loving relationship! We can’t do their striving, or their growing. We can’t decide what they’re ready for. We can’t even decide what a loving relationship looks like for them!

It’s wonderful to persevere in aligning with love and creating a relationship that reflects YOU. Live your dream! But don’t do the dreaming for somebody else … and then try to get them to work at living it. Let go of your notion of what’s right for somebody else.

And continue to revisit what’s right for you. If you have to push too hard or cling too tightly, maybe it’s not for you. Love is work! It’s responsible and persistent work; but it feels like being true to yourself, not trying to squeeze into a pair of jeans, a party, or a relationship that doesn’t fit.
Not sure if you’re truly loving your partner or pushing YOUR idea of a loving relationship? You can’t be responsible for how your partner feels, but how he feels can be telling.

Does she feel respected OR disrespected by you?… More