Fear is the only thing that can impede love or greatness, but fear wears many masks.
If we learn to recognize all of them, we purify our love and free our greatness.
Nothing can stop us. … More
Fear is the only thing that can impede love or greatness, but fear wears many masks.
If we learn to recognize all of them, we purify our love and free our greatness.
Nothing can stop us. … More
When we forget that marriage is more than a promise to abstain from sex with somebody else, it can seem like only one partner cheated. In truth, marriage is a promise to love and honor; and abstaining from sex with others is a byproduct of that. The first partner to cheat is not necessarily the one to have sex with somebody else.
Let’s not deceive ourselves. Let’s learn how to truly love and honor.… More
From a reader: “I want to get close to somebody, but I can’t seem to develop the kind of meaningful relationship I want. Truth is, I’m not very good at relationships in general. And my loneliness during the holidays made that all too clear!”
Unfortunately, when we most need to connect, we’re apt to feel vulnerable and withdraw or put up a wall that goes where we go. While trying to protect our hearts from pain, we protect them — perhaps, more so — from love.
How do we open our hearts to the love we want, without taking a bullet in the process?
The best answer is to know — and love — yourself so well that you don’t personalize rejection; but that can be the work of a lifetime. For the moment, you can accept that intimacy is worth the risk and make a conscious effort to lower your defenses.
The problem is that you might have no idea what your emotional defense mechanisms look like, let alone how to drop them. You could be using a shield today that you unconsciously developed 30 years ago.
So — especially if you don’t know you’re protecting your heart — take a look at the following list of emotional defense mechanisms lovingly presented by Marilyn Kagan, LCSW, and Neil Einbund, Ph.D.,… More
“He’s just not that interested in sex anymore … and desire has always been a big turn-on for me.”
She said the words, without realizing their significance, during a weekend retreat designed to help her and her husband restore intimacy in their relationship. Women want to be sexually desired. It’s in their genes … and, for the most part, they work at it.
So, when men don’t demonstrate their longing, women can be sorely disappointed.
What many women don’t seem to understand is that men are also turned on by their partner’s yearning … and this can be particularly true in a committed relationship, in which the man is foregoing the variety he’s biologically driven to seek out.
So, what happens when both partners develop a take-it-or-leave-it attitude about sex? Right — they don’t have it very often. And their desire continues to wane.
If your partner no longer seems sexually attracted to you, your ego alone offers you reason enough to be nonchalant. Smile. And, yes, your nonchalance (like his) can be a big turn off. And the hard-to-get strategy can be downright ineffective played amidst the daily grind, breeding more resentment than desire.
If you want your partner to demonstrate heated desire, demonstrate your own.… More
When we find the love within and reconcile with it, we know oneness. We know heaven … within and without. … More
Infatuation lures us. But it’s not merely the infatuation we want. It’s the survival, the acceptance, the approval ratings, the pleasure. It’s that all-is-right-with-the-world feeling of oneness and omnipotence that comes with infatuation! We’re after all of it; but we want it now, and a relationship that starts with sizzling sex seems like the shortest path. Taking it means feeding our ego, instead of love; but it’s the ego that’s screaming for our attention!
Love is whispering, but it offers everything that infatuation does. And because it has a foundation, it lasts forever.
Shall we listen for love? … More
Jan's program for the quest of a lifetime.
DISCOVER:
~ What love really is
~ Who you are, apart from the facade
~ What it actually looks like to love you
~ How it feels to exercise the freedom to be youClick to Read More
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