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Honesty is the only launch pad …
Sometimes we shy away from the truth about people we love, thinking that to even acknowledge the truth is a form of betrayal. There is no shame in the truth, though, just as there is no shame in love.
Shame can only be found in the fear that hides the truth, because that fear displaces love.
Here’s the thing, the truth doesn’t seem like betrayal or something to be ashamed of, unless we’re judging the truth to be “bad” and defining somebody by that piece of the truth.
Instead of judging people and piling on the shame, we can love them unconditionally. We can give them a safe place to be who they are, to accept and forgive their past, and move forward in love.
Let’s embrace the truth–whether it’s about somebody else, or ourselves.
Love and hugs,… More
Watch it happen …
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Let it work …
If you find yourself feeling dissatisfied with what your partner is doing or not doing, don’t just ask for what you want. Make sure you let him (or her) do it.
Don’t be afraid to accept help, to give your partner some credit, to let go of their inadequacy and the notion that your relationship doesn’t work. Let go of your need to blame somebody if it doesn’t. And LET it work. … More
Trying to get to the truth? Try this simple exercise …
When you’re not sure what the truth is, your unconscious knows. And getting to it, might be easier than you think.
Try this: Sit quietly by yourself, free of distractions. Solitude can be as elusive as healing; but they’re almost synonymous. Now pick up a pen with your left hand (or your right hand if you’re left-handed) and begin to write about the matter in question.
“My right hand is my grown-up hand — a writer’s hand, a minister’s hand — but when I wrote with the left hand, I found that what tended to come out was as artless and basic as the awkward scrawl it came out in. It was as if some of my secrets had at last found a way of communicating with me directly,” says Frederick Buechner in Telling Secrets, his wonderfully rich memoir.
So, find solitude, but try not to be too grown up about it. Try not to intellectualize. And don’t be afraid. You can trust what comes out to be a loving step toward a happier you. … More
The two of you, with and without an audience …
You used to go to your in-laws for Thanksgiving Day. Now, you host dinner, but your father-in-law still carves the turkey … and your husband still yields at every point with, “Yes, Sir.” It took you the first six years of your marriage to really know the groom; and you’re still trying to get to know the guy he turns into around his father! Or, maybe you’re too busy resenting the charade to try to understand it.
Remember the first time you were dumbfounded watching your sweetheart with his college buddies or his pals from the old neighborhood? You watched this man who had romanced you with poetry and baby talk turn into a gruff, back-slapping guy with a limited vocabulary. That was a poignant picture of how men communicate differently with different people — especially when they haven’t yet come into their own.
Enough about him, though. How does your behavior change when your oldest sister arrives on the scene or your ex shows up unexpectedly? Who intimidates you so much that you become somebody you don’t want to be, somebody you’re not?
Oddly enough, one of those people could be your sweetheart!
With all the entertaining and socializing coming up, this is the perfect time to observe how free you are, with and without an audience … whether that audience is your sweetheart, the crew from work, or your mother.… More
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