Uncategorized – Page 721

Gifts, all day, every day … the freedom to be you

Dear Friends,

When this box arrived, I said to myself, “What did my baby boy order now?” It was addressed to me (Amazon Prime is in my name), but it looked more like an airplane part than a book.

Ah, but it was for me. I now have my very own bolster pillow for massage, one of my favorite gifts to give myself.

Our only job is to love well. And we can’t love others any better than we love ourself. So what does loving yourself look like? What gifts do you want? For me it looks like long walks, a gorgeous view, dessert, and nothing on my calendar except what I can do with my whole heart.

One of the most momentous gifts you can give yourself is the freedom to be you! Life is miserable pretending to be somebody else. It’s a real live fairytale being you!

Happiness doesn’t come with somebody else’s approval, or the right degree, or any level of income. It comes with knowing and being who you are … without them.

Love yourself for who you are, and you can love others for who they are!

I love you,… More

What’s real …

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Mystery fuels, knowing maintains passion …

Passion — or erotic attraction — enlivens us. The singing birds drown out the alarm clock. The sun shines through the clouds. We are the sun, and the moon and the stars!

Passion seems too good to be true. And it is…well, not really; it just can’t stand alone very long.

We can’t hold on to passion without intimacy, because by itself passion starts to feel empty. It doesn’t stand up in the face of life’s challenges. When illness strikes or a job loss threatens the roof over our heads, passion doesn’t seem nearly as important as it did when we were craving physical gratification.

The problem is when we add intimacy to give passion a foundation, passion eventually seems to fizzle out. Truth is — it’s tough to hold on to passion, with or without intimacy!

Passion is fueled by mystery. And intimacy means getting to know all about each other, understanding fears and dreams, seeing and hearing and smelling and tasting what makes us human. Daily life can ride roughshod over intrigue…and, yes, passion.

Of course, we can just forego passion. But then we no longer have perfect love…and what we do have can be threatened by the lure of passion.… More

The path to love is risk … but love doesn’t personalize rejection

We’ve all tried to put what we hoped a hot prospect would see as our “best foot” forward, while trying to hide our “worst foot.” Predictably, we fall on our face.

If we want an enduring relationship, we have to stand on our own two feet, the truth of who we are, for better or worse. There’s nothing more liberating or satisfying, but that’s a little known — or experienced — fact.

Why? When we fall on our face, instead of getting the lesson, we’re apt to lose some of our confidence … and the more confidence we lose, the more scared we are to gamble with what little we have left.

Thus, we find ourselves trying to have heart-to-heart talks and relationships while shielding our hearts and stumbling over our own two feet. We think that if we can just manage to keep our “flaws” under wraps until after the “I-dos,” everything will be OK.

When it’s not, we can learn from it, or we can reinforce our defenses and keep our distance. Enter the emotionally unavailable.

By hiding the pieces of ourselves that we fear will be rejected, we live a lonely existence, regardless of how visible we make our facade in the process.… More

What are you looking for?

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Your relationship with you …

Whether I write about breaking up or compatibility or communication, it always comes down to the same thing — know and love who you are; so that you can share all of you with enthusiasm and be at peace, regardless of the outcome. It makes sense, then, that the title of my last book is “Innately Good…dispelling the myth that we’re not.”

When we spend enough quality time to get to know who we are, we realize how wonderfully made we are! But that means stopping the busyness, all the excuses we find not to be alone with ourselves. It means ceasing our efforts to make ourselves good enough — with another promotion, a bigger house, a trip, even meeting the needs of others, so that we don’t have to face our own needs. The reason we’re so busy is that we can’t get enough of whatever we fill our lives up with, to make us happy. We keep adding more and more and more.

When we break away from the treadmill, we find out that everything we were looking for — nothing more than happiness, really — was right there within us all along. The only way to be happy is to be true to what’s inside.… More