Years ago, while I was dating a psychiatrist, he told me that I was too often disappointed with him. I was goo-gah over his brain, and he melted me — and everybody else — when he smiled. He saw through people and felt warm toward them; and they knew it. Disappointed in him? Not this girl.

Bless my insecure little 30-year-old heart, though, I acted like I was. Because I felt inferior, I tried not to act intimidated or overly impressed. I was bold in expressing my insight into his issues; he was receptive — not defensive.

When he told me that our issues were clashing, I thought it was mostly about my not feeding his ego. I thought that was a good thing. Without realizing it, though, I continued to feed my own ego and want him to feed it.

Truth is, I wanted desperately to feel good enough for him!

Now I realize that he probably saw through my defensiveness, and understood his own need for reinforcement. He still wanted somebody who was impressed by him. I was — the condo, the car, the Yale degree — but I was unable to express that freely. I was too self-conscious about what I saw as my own shortcomings to ignore what I saw as his shortcomings and underscore his long list of strengths.… More

You are love. But you are also gifted with choice. And when you choose fear, instead of love, you no longer feel like love. You no longer manifest love.

To manifest the greatness of love, you must be true to you. You must do what love would do.

Love is unthreatened. It has nothing to fear.… More

What exactly is it that we yearn for, though? Something that makes us feel happy, safe, cared about, connected? Something we saw in a movie or in the happily-ever-after of a fairy-tale sunset, something we heard in a song, something somebody told us we would find someday? Something that satisfies a biological need? All of the above!

We want somebody to eat the pizza with, process the movie with, stand speechless with, wake up with, die with. We want somebody to call when our flight’s delayed, somebody to answer the phone before we spend a night in jail.

We want somebody to know who we are, what we’re truly about … in a world that often looks right through us, as though we are invisible to them (because they only see us in their unconscious mind).

We want somebody to see us glisten in the moonlight. We want to be valued. We want to be unconditionally loved.… More