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Jan Denise, author, speaker, relationships & self-worth consultant

Be present with each other …

Be present with each other …

Let your togetherness nurture you, your partner, and your relationship. And that same togetherness will transcend the chaos. … More

How do you know when you’re being authentic?

How do you know when you’re being authentic?

… More

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving!

On that first Thanksgiving Day in 1621, the colonists invited the Indians to join them in giving thanks for the harvest. Being thankful meant having enough to share. It still does.

A grateful man will share — and be glad he’s able — regardless of how much he has. What he shares of his time or his substance will include an attitude of sufficiency, a knowing that there is enough, and that there is more where that came from. He sees abundance because he looks through grateful eyes, not greedy ones. And he multiplies what he has by being openhanded.

Often, we measure a man (or woman) by what he has. But what he’s willing to give is a better indication of what he really has. What he’s clinging to is what has him — his attention, his grip, and his energy. The thing he clings to can’t get away, but neither can he.

A grateful man has what an ungrateful man wants but cannot seem to find — enough. A sense of worth and plenty does not come with the accumulation of things; it comes with the knowledge of who you are apart from the things — the house, the job, the bank account, and even the family and circle of friends.… More

You are innately good … innately love

You are innately good … innately love

From the time we learn the word “no,” we begin to get the message that what we would do naturally is “bad.”

As young children, we can’t make a distinction between our behavior and ourselves, so we buy into a lie — the lie that in order to be good enough we have to sit still and be quiet, or look pretty, or SOMETHING. But you know as well as I do that some of the demands we place on children (and ourselves) are more apt to stifle them than make them good.

“Even if you were fortunate enough to grow up in a safe, nurturing environment, you still bear invisible scars from childhood, because from the very moment you were born you were a complex, dependent creature with a never-ending cycle of needs. Freud correctly labeled us ‘insatiable beings.’ And no parents, no matter how devoted, are able to respond perfectly to all of these changing needs,” says Harville Hendrix in his bestselling “Getting the Love You Want.”

We have a fundamental motivation to be accepted, which is why you might jump to defend yourself, your parents, your children (even while reading this). Rejection used to point to a problem that needed our attention, and our survival depended on how sensitive and responsive we were.… More

What are you clinging to?

What are you clinging to?

When you let go of what you no longer need to pacify you, you can embrace what will truly satisfy you.

What we have to let go of is our security blanket, what we used to cope as a child. You’ll find you have an excess of it … and that letting go will make room for what’s missing. … More

To be real is to let what’s inside out …

To be real is to let what’s inside out …

… More

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Learning to Love Yourself

Jan's program for the quest of a lifetime.

DISCOVER:
~ What love really is
~ Who you are, apart from the facade
~ What it actually looks like to love you
~ How it feels to exercise the freedom to be youClick to Read More

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