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More than enough …

How can you ensure sexual satisfaction?

According to a recent study, half of married/partnered women are dissatisfied with their sex life … and I’m guessing some of the other half were afraid to admit to it.

Our satisfaction — men’s and women’s — correlates with how much disparity there is between what we have and what we want. What’s not clear is what we really want versus what we’ve been programmed to want.

We can be preoccupied by what the media portrays pretty people as having, or what parents say is appropriate, or what somebody suggested was normal. And conflicting notions alone are enough to make us feel unsettled and dissatisfied.

Before marrying my first husband and having sex for the first time, I thought sex would be a spectacular, mystical experience. I imagined something, without any idea what, equivalent to fireworks, but it was years before I saw anything close. You may have thought you were alone in your disappointment, but I suspect you’re in the majority.

Our imaginations — though they lack details — are fueled by unrealistic love stories on silver screens. And it is no wonder that we choose those over the reality that we see in parents and other would-be role models.… More

Dear Friends …

You want to get more–not less–happy. And you can. Pay attention to what you’re feeling … and where it’s coming from.

If you begin to feel some unrest, or you sense less joy, you’ll find a reason for it. At first it may seem like the cause is outside yourself, but it’s not.

Somewhere during this pandemic, I was feeling less than my little-girl giddy when Sam arrived home from work. On the surface, it may have seemed like the reason was dinner preparation.

We used to go out to dinner most Friday nights. I looked forward to that break from cooking and cleaning up. But the problem was not the extra cooking or cleaning. The problem was not the pandemic. The problem was not Sam. The problem was, the problem is always, my straying from my truth.

Without my break, I was beginning to feel trapped. I was doing more than I wanted to do, more than I could do wholeheartedly. I stopped. I asked Sam to help. I stopped thinking that dinner had to be on time and include a palate cleanser.

Dinner is a bit more spontaneous and, with Sam’s help, as delicious as ever. I am back to little-girl happy to see Sam when he arrives home, even if he’s early.… More