For the best relationship ever, start with a clean slate. Wipe away the black marks and start fresh, aiming, once again, for consummate love. Only this time, do it with consummate love in clear view. Know what you’re going for, and you have a better shot at it.According to Robert J. Sternberg, a psychologist and psychometrician of Cornell University, perfect love is a high level of intimacy, passion, and commitment.

• Intimacy: Psychological knowledge shared, and connection based on that knowledge
• Passion: Erotic attraction
• Commitment: The decision that a person loves another person and the commitment to maintain that love

It’s difficult to experience a high level of any one of the three if you focus on how you’ve been wronged or short-changed; and each one works to strengthen or weaken the others (see diagram). Wiping the slate clean, on the other hand, allows you to immediately enjoy what you have and develop more of it.

I realize that a clean slate isn’t exactly something you can order online or have somebody else deliver; but relationships are about giving what you have. So give YOURSELF a clean slate. When you wipe yours clean, you wipe his/hers clean, too! If you thought he was alone in the relationship fumbles, take a closer look.… More

It’s tough to do great things by setting out to do them … because almost before we get started we’re coming from ego rather than love. Besides, we have to manage small things to get the experience we need to manage bigger ones. And sometimes that leaves us shying away from doing much of anything!

But when we begin to do something, we are encouraged. Peace and joy lie in doing what we can — not what we wish we could do. And when we move away from our preconceived notion of what “great” looks like, we make way for what great really is. It’s nothing more than doing what we can with love.

We can build a castle without love … or we can sweep a dirt floor with love. But we can only be happy with love. We forget — again and again, but never forever. And the more we practice, the longer we remember.… More

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