Trying to decide between a beach getaway and a stocking full of coal for your sweetheart? Why not give him a clean slate, instead? Wipe away the black marks and start fresh, aiming — once again — for perfect love. Only this time, do it with perfect love in clear view. Know what you’re going for, and you have a better shot at it.

According to Robert J. Sternberg, a psychologist and psychometrician, perfect love is a high level of intimacy, passion, and commitment.

Intimacy: Psychological knowledge shared, and connection based on that knowledge
Passion: Erotic attraction
Commitment: The decision that a person loves another person and the commitment to maintain that love

It’s difficult to have a high level of even one of the three, if you focus on how you’ve been wronged or shortchanged And each of the three works to strengthen or weaken the other two. Wiping the slate clean, on the other hand, allows you to immediately enjoy what ever level you already have and develop more of it.

I realize that a clean slate isn’t exactly something you can order online, but Christmas isn’t really about what you can have somebody else deliver. Christmas is about giving of what you have, so give yourself a clean slate.… More

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