Love has no agenda …

Once we realize that we’re clinging to a security blanket, we may want to loosen our grip and make room for something that can do more than pacify us. Because the security blanket is a substitute for the attunement we lost when we realized our separateness from “Mother.” It’s what we could latch on to as we faced fear and the pain of rejection.

What we really want is for somebody to tune into us–every sigh, and giggle, and cry. We want somebody to see us, and know us, and love us for who we are. We can’t go back and get that from “Mother” again, but we can give it to ourselves. And we can give ourselves permission to be ALL of who we are!

OR we can hold on to the blanket–compliant, smart, pretty, nurturing, stoic, or escape (food, drugs, busyness, adventure, even pain)! I’m loosening my grip on order. That was my blanket; and I stretched it into a suit of armor, reinforcing it for decades. I’m making room for the rest of me. Maybe I’ll have the chaos of success, more spontaneity, and some free falls.… More

You can observe babies looking around to make sure “Mom” is still there. Mom’s the security blanket. What’s yours? Do you look in the mirror, feel for your wallet, take a nap, eat? What do you still use to cope? And are you hooked on it?… More

For many, a vow of celibacy—a promise not to enter into marriage or engage in sexual intercourse—is unfathomable.

During the Protestant Reformation led by Martin Luther in 1517, reformers argued that requiring a vow of celibacy from a priest was contrary to biblical teaching, a degradation of marriage and a reason for the widespread sexual misconduct within the clergy at the time.

Yet some would stand back today and suggest that all single people should vow chastity! Granted, that goes down easier if you hope to get married (despite the odds). But how realistic is it?

A public health report concludes (after a long list of statistics), “Almost all Americans have sex before marrying.” And lest you be intimidated by those with a holier than thou attitude, they were included in the study.

I am married now, but it would be dishonest and unkind to dismiss from my mind what it was like to be single. A whopping 40 percent of our adult population is single. On average, we now spend half of our adult lives outside of marriage. And some of us die single.

I am not suggesting that we promote casual sex or “friends with benefits.” Let’s not draw a line between single and married people, though.… More

How to Recognize Ego: It rants, blames, justifies with faulty logic, insists on being right, and screams as if for life.

How to Recognize Love: None of that. … More

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~ When in doubt, I want to grow out of my comfort zone!

~ I can feel at home, without being home.

~ I love being with my baby! We understand each other and—home or away—we interfere very little with each other’s productivity.

~ I can jog six miles, instead of my usual two; and it’s okay that it takes longer! And, doing it on a nature trail is worth the effort of getting there.

~ Communicating, paying bills, and shopping online allow more spontaneity. And I want to take advantage of that!

~ I lose very little time to the distractions of home—my work takes as long as it takes. And I can accept that.

~ I want to give more priority to being present than to being efficient. And, yes, I realize that I may be more productive as a result.

~ It took only 2 weeks to develop new creature comforts AND think about missing them when I left, so I brought them home with me … except for that chocolate-chip-cookie waffle with raspberry, and the daily housekeeper!

Always learning!

If you missed my earlier post about Sam’s whisking me off to Kentucky, here it is: I’m in KY with Sam, aka my baby.… More