Love has no agenda …

Just as 78 million baby boomers (born 1946-1964) and I were trying to figure out how to get old and care for our aging parents without losing it, Dr. Ruth (born 1928) launched her 34th book, “Dr. Ruth’s Top 10 Secrets for Great Sex.”

Intuitively, I know that the little lady with a shrill voice, who still lives where she raised her children before becoming famous, has more to teach us — and our parents — than what she calls “sexual literacy.”

If somebody can show us how to keep going without losing our sanity, and our sexuality, maybe Dr. Ruth can. And, wouldn’t we love to stroll on with her relentless smile and energy?

With that in mind, I asked Dr. Ruth what drove her to continue to share her wisdom and spunk with us. “What drives me is the interest in the subject matter!” she said. Short, sweet and to the point — like the woman herself.

It’s no coincidence that exercise (sex is one of the best), passion for something and connection with others are significant factors in staying healthy!

Aging can interfere with those things; and so can caring for parents! Half of the 44 million doing so in the United States are baby boomers; and 80 percent report a strain on their relationship (according to a Caring.com… More

Remember your favorite fairytale? What can it teach you about yourself, why you’ve done what you’ve done and, perhaps, what you’re still waiting for?

Mine was “Cinderella.” She diligently swept and sang, undeterred and untainted by her mean stepmother and stepsisters. And, she was rewarded … with a prince, no less.

It’s so telling. I’ve spent a big chunk of my life trying to smile while I forged ahead with what I thought was expected of a “good” person.

As it turns out, the sun and the rain come down on the just and the not so just. Darn, I knew that; I grew up with the Bible. And good behavior is its own reward — provided our motivation is pure.

It’s tempting to turn our good behavior into a self-righteous cloak that makes us better than everybody else … only a self-righteous cloak doesn’t really score any “good” points.

I recently watched the movie “Michael” for the first time. It’s about a scratch-where-it-itches angel who ate too much sugar and taught people to take the long way home and laugh more.

Played by John Travolta, Michael probably defies your fairytale images. We don’t just get confused (at a very young age) about what our goodness looks like; we get confused about what goodness in general looks like.… More

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Every time we tell a lie, we miss an opportunity to let the truth play out. We put love on the bench.

Yes, love will win. It won’t win in my life, though, until I let it in the game; and there is no deception in love.

A lie may temporarily ease the pain, but it also keeps us imprisoned. The truth liberates us. … More

Tears ran down her face as she asked me, “How do I forgive myself?”

Forgiveness is a critical step toward a healthy life, and you can only take it after you’ve had the courage to face the truth. It’s easier to move on — just not in a positive direction — while you’re still lying to yourself about what you did or who’s to blame.

If lying to yourself seems far-fetched, consider a few facts:

~ Many people think it’s OK to tell a white lie.

~ Some think it’s OK to cheat a little on their taxes.

~ Some think what a partner doesn’t know won’t hurt
him (or her).

You probably don’t blatantly deny your behavior, but there’s a good chance you justify some of it. And justification often implies trying to make something “wrong” less wrong. But is there really such a thing as less wrong? White lies and black lies? Innocent cheating and tainted cheating?

The truth has a way of catching up with us. And when it does, we are forced to deal with it. Running from the truth is exhausting. And it’s like running from a police officer; you can’t do it (except in the movies) without digging yourself into a deeper hole.… More

While I was walking on the beach (when I lived there), a man stopped me to say he missed my cartwheels. It hadn’t dawned on me, until then, that I was letting them slip away. I’m still thankful for his observation.

Is there something you’ve stopped doing? Roll down the hills, walk in the rain, dance in the park. Feel the child-like freedom and joy of love. Sit with it, revel in it, sparkle with it, and share it. … More