Love has no agenda …

We’re so sensitive to rejection that we get a better view if we step away from it. Sales offers us an ideal window. Maybe you’ve heard about the new guy hired to sell life insurance. He’s offered one dollar for every time somebody turns him down. With nothing to lose and a dollar to gain, our novice fearlessly approaches as many prospects as he can. And, he gets rich—not because he approaches a million prospects; but because he approaches them with no vested interest in their response, and some of them say yes.

Well, not personalizing rejection works equally well for us in relationships. A man (or woman) has nothing to lose by approaching a prospect, and he just might dazzle the woman of his dreams.

Oh, the glory of courage! A man can get the woman he wants! And she’s going to love him for exactly who he is; because when he’s not afraid, he’s authentic. He’s not pretending to be somebody he thinks the woman wants. … More

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If you know you’re good enough and still feel haunted by the lie that you’re not, the lie lingers in your unconscious.

Don’t let it trump what you know to be true. 98% of all brain activity is completely unconscious, but we can reprogram the unconscious. We just have to get to it; and it seems there’s always another layer to reach. The deeper we go, the more we heal; and the more true to our authentic self we can be. And that means another layer of peace and joy! … More

Illicit affairs are about sex. And it strikes me that at some point we might grow out of their shallow gratification. I can see the jaws dropping.

But come on, sex is, well, sex. It’s two people getting naked — or naked enough — so that they can make sexual contact. It’s a primitive act that satisfies a biological need. I know, I know…it can be much more than that. We’re talking an artful, loving culmination of two souls brushing the heavens and finding oneness.

But, hey, let’s not exalt affairs to that status. Now the protests — don’t tell me…yours was different, right? Or at least you thought it was going to be different!

“Even when we do precisely what others do, we tend to think that we’re doing it for unique reasons,” says Daniel Gilbert in his bestselling “Stumbling on Happiness.” He explains that our mythical belief in our uniqueness prevents us from learning as much as we could from the experience of others.

So if need be, humor me here. Let’s assume affairs are basically about sex. After all, when we say somebody was unfaithful, we generally mean they had sex with somebody other than the person they were committed to.… More

What you know to be true overrides even what your words and your behavior say about you. But you can’t expect others to know the greatness that lies within. Prospective partners know what you SHOW them. Show them your authentic self. Remove the mask you fashioned to win approval AND let go of the pain you’re carrying because it couldn’t attract true love.

There was never going to be a good enough mask. Trust what you know to be your true self, that spark of divinity within. … More

It doesn’t matter what people think. It does matter what reason we give them to think it! Our words chime out, and our choices continually speak on our behalf.

If we choose love, now, we can let go of the rest. … More