He who looks within finds both the enemy and the victor. The only enemy is fear. The only victor love. … More
We don’t have to let somebody else’s behavior determine ours …
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Vulnerable and invulnerable …
We can feel vulnerable as we open up to love; but when WE truly know and love who we are, we no longer fear rejection from others. We are no longer afraid of getting hurt; because we don’t personalize anybody else’s behavior or preference. We still know who we are; we still love who we are. We’re free! … More
Bad Boys, Good Friends, and More
“How come the nice guy couldn’t also make my toes curl?” asks a reader.
It’s a little like asking why the muscular one couldn’t also be rich, or why she couldn’t be smart, too.
That said, sometimes somebody makes our toes curl by eluding our grasp, or being a “bad boy.” We — men and women — want the best partner we can find. When we can’t quite snag somebody, we may assume we are approaching the best we can get, as the chemical rush kicks in!
Irrational, I know, but up close and emotionally involved, we can lose both our objectivity and our rationale.
I bet you can think of a whole string of men who are challenged by monogamy. They are biologically programmed to want variety. That does not make them a great catch or even a keeper!
Women, on the other hand, are programmed to compare their partner and relationship with the options. And some, continually wondering whether they can do better, are reluctant to settle on one. Again, that doesn’t make them a great catch.
So where does that leave the nice men — or women — who are emotionally available to us?
Often, the nice ones can be found sticking by us as friends, even as we chase carrots we THINK we want.… More
Where is your relationship headed?
If you don’t want to go out for Valentine’s Day, you can stay home; but if you don’t want to go anyplace in your relationship, you can’t just stay put. You will move to a lower place, a hell of sorts.
Life doesn’t stand still; it either grows or dies. The same is true for your relationship. If you are not moving closer as partners, you are moving apart. There is no pause button.
So, where do you want to go in your relationship?
Here’s the map to heaven. Heaven or hell, you choose!
You are within a few steps of peace, or oneness, with yourself and your partner (plus the planet); and that is heaven. If peace seems to elude you, it is because you are stuck enroute. When you see where you are, you can navigate in the right direction; and when you see how close you are to peace, you will want to press on.
Five Steps to Peace
1. P-retending to Be What You Are Not
2. E-goic Striving
3. A-dmitting Dissonance and Confusion
4. C-oming Clean
5. E-xperiencing Ecstasy and Oneness
1. Pretending to Be What You Are Not: Fear and your survival instinct kicked in when Mommy and Daddy wanted you to be something you weren’t naturally–even if it was just quiet–and the charade to win approval began.… More
Until we’re living it, we’re still learning it …
My aim is not to gather more knowledge, but rather to know on a deeper level that which is worth knowing. It is what we know in our minds that we also know in our souls that allows us to manifest the magnificence of love. And sometimes there is a gap between the mind and the soul that must relearn the truth.… More
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Jan's program for the quest of a lifetime.
Are you ready to live your destiny?