Love has no agenda …

You are not defined by what’s in the mirror, or the bank, or somebody else’s judgment. You are defined by what’s within. And if you look closely, you’ll find a divine spark.

It’s enough of whatever you could possibly need or want!

It’s the divinity of love. … More

However severe my “issue” seems, I can find compassion for myself by understanding that it likely stems from my learning to cope with fear and rejection as a child!

Realizing that, I can let go of what I used to cope.

But I need not expect it to be easy. … More

Anytime we have cognitive dissonance*, we open the door for deception, anger, and bitterness. And a lack of harmony and joy in me creates a lack of harmony and joy in my relationship.

I can’t be untrue to myself and have a healthy relationship!

*Cognitive Dissonance: A disparity between my thoughts and and my actions. I’m compelled to bring my thoughts, beliefs, attitudes, ideas, and actions into alignment. Dissonance between them creates stress–in me and my relationship!… More

You were never really going to take one big leap and land in the relationship of your dreams. … More

When I start using “I” with emphasis, I see a little yellow flag — or a big red one. It usually means that my ego is getting in the way.

Perhaps I feel slighted by the way somebody’s treating me … maybe I think they should show more respect, or just be more responsible. But, I mustn’t personalize their behavior.

My true self doesn’t. My ego does. … More

Love of your life or infatuation?

Remember the first time you fell in love? Nothing else mattered! Because for the moment, love made it all disappear.

Life would be simpler if we could lie down and wait for a magical kiss — or even one of Cupid’s arrows — and then walk off into the sunset and live happily ever after. I had my heart set on something more closely resembling that than what I got; but as it turns out, simpler isn’t better.

Along the way, I’ve had my share (OK, more than my share) of magical kisses, arrows and sunsets. There’s a lot of ground between those and happily ever after, though, and it’s under-covered in love stories.

Chances are, the first time you “fell in love” is really the first time you got infatuated. And infatuation is irrational and short-lived!

It feels bigger than life, though, like the moon and the stars, and everything you ever wished for all wrapped up in a titillating package that you can actually get your arms around! Well, temporarily.

When infatuation strikes, it’s generally unfounded; so, unless you move quickly to put a foundation under it, it fizzles. And, let’s face it, you’re way too busy making googly eyes to build a foundation.… More