Love has no agenda …

The media hosts an ongoing parade of beautiful people. They even offer commentary on the most beautiful eyes, lips and buttocks…helping us to embrace both a false sense of normal and a false sense of ideal.

There is no ideal. And there certainly is no ideal for everybody — 5’10” cannot be ideal for a woman who is 5’4″. I know this!

Yet studies show that the vast majority of women are uncomfortable with their looks, particularly their bodies. But women are giving men — who live longer, stay more active and marry women half their age (I’m funny, not bitter, really) — a taste of how it feels to be gawked at, reveled in and critiqued.

Still, women are more apt to be trapped in their innate desire to please men (the creation story in Genesis nails this). Measuring up to the ideal they think men want weighs on them, the way being strong and powerful weighs on many men.

Think about it, though. The average man is less than 5 feet 10 inches tall. Do you really think he prefers a 5-foot 10-inch woman to make him feel big and strong? There is no ideal match, either; I think God made my husband, Sam, 6’3″ just to remove any doubt.… More

I was in paradise wandering from one little alcove to another, with angel trumpets cascading overhead and roses perfuming the morning air. The wonderment of spring in a garden is unmatched, except maybe by the wonderment of spring in a relationship!

In the spring, we see the miracle of what’s growing. We are intrigued by the newness and the wonder of flourishing possibilities. We tend what’s blooming, so we can celebrate more flowers; and taking advantage of Mother Nature, we plant annuals to create a virtual carpet of color, knowing they won’t survive the winter.

There is always something we can plant, though. Every season has its own magic. And in relationships, we direct the flow from one season to the next. We don’t have to jump to another relationship or warmer climate to find paradise; we can just stay connected with the wonder.

We can shine our own light and spread our own colors. We can add freshness and possibility and awe. We can cultivate the relationship of our dreams … and appreciate the ongoing, albeit changing, splendor.

We can welcome each transition. We can find sanctuary to refuel our body, mind and spirit — without feeling guilty or distant!… More

We try desperately to feed our ego while we demonstrate love. We can’t. The ego acts on fear; love doesn’t.

We have to choose love OR fear. And as we practice choosing love, we also learn to purify our love. Pure love is untainted by fear.

And it’s not really love, unless it’s pure. … More

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When we’re still looking for attention and appreciation from a partner (to feed our ego), we won’t find a partner to truly love us. Instead, we’ll find somebody who’s willing to feed our ego, but it won’t last; because the ego is insatiable.

We move beyond that by learning to truly love ourselves. Then, we no longer need somebody to feed our ego, that polished armor we use to fend off the fear that we’re not good enough. We can share all of who we are, without fear of rejection, and be loved down to the core, the way we’ve always longed to be loved. … More

We can’t make love a book of regulations and enforce it, without a shift in attitude. But with a shift in attitude, enforcement is just a reminder.… More