Love has no agenda …

With baby boomers scurrying to remain youthful and sexy, we don’t hear a lot about waning sexual desire. And regardless of age, the media might have you convinced that you’re supposed to want sex more than you do.

The truth is, according to findings shared with me by Tamar Krishnamurti, a graduate student at Carnegie Mellon University, and George Loewenstein, a professor at CMU: 1) As we get older, we want sex less and 2) As we continue year after year in the same relationship, we want sex less.

Don’t despair; we still like sex — just not as much as we used to! Why the declining desire and pleasure?

Even sex can get routine and monotonous. If you’re over 40 or had sex with the same person for more than five years, you probably knew that. And sexual appetite is designed to propagate the species, mostly while we’re still young enough to make babies. There goes some of our pleasure — eating when we’re really hungry is more satisfying!

Apart from procreation, though, there are practical reasons to have sex. It has been shown to improve physical, mental and emotional health, as well as relationship satisfaction. There is a direct correlation between frequency of sex and both longevity and happiness.… More

No matter how horrible your secret, keeping it is more destructive than the secret itself; and sharing it will break its hold on you.

When you decide you have something to be ashamed of, you embrace shame. Even if you forget exactly what you’re ashamed of, you still feel the shame; and as long as you do, you forego self-esteem.

And according to Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, until you have met your need for self-esteem, you can’t move on to meet your need for self-actualization, or your need to live a rich and meaningful life. That’s why you — and so many making headlines — can become rich and powerful, and still feel unfulfilled.

So, tell me your secrets … spill your secrets, and you spill your shame, your guilt and your regret.

Well-meaning people may suggest you keep a secret for fear somebody uses it against you. Better them, than you, though. When you keep a secret, you are certain to use it against yourself.

In letting go of a secret, you also let go of the belief that there is something to hide. When you expose it, what used to seem dark and dirty seems human. You relieve the pressure, come out of the closet into the light, purge the pain with tears.… More

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As much as we long to be seen and known, we may shrink from our truth or avoid sharing it for fear of rejection.

But we can always trust the truth, and naked is as good as we get.… More

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I grew up being resourceful, making the best of what we had, and I’m thankful for that. But sometimes I forget that I can choose anything.

We are not limited by what’s in front of us … or behind us. We have a whole world of options.

Love is everything good. And it’s ours. … More