Love has no agenda …

We may look at the latest headlines and wonder why some celebrity had an affair; but when somebody more “ordinary” has one, we tend to assume they wanted something they weren’t getting at home.

Can’t the famous be dissatisfied? Of course, they can. And they can find what they’re missing elsewhere — whether they seek it out or just run into it. And, yes, they can do this despite a public stand against infidelity.

We all fall down; and we all put our foot in our mouth. We don’t do it in the headlines, which is more humbling, but maybe it’s also more liberating.

When you live through your worst nightmare — being caught with your pants down abroad or in the Oval Office — and survive, you realize that you can survive anything. What’s left to be afraid of? And it’s purging, even noble, to openly confess and apologize. Maybe that helps to answer the other question we ask: How do they get through the public embarrassment?

The last time I saw Bill Clinton, I was both surprised and impressed that so many still love the man. He engages us, because he seems to truly see us; he endears us because he’s real.… More

It’s tough enough to assume responsibility for our actions and words. Should we, can we, also be responsible for our thoughts and intentions? Those are private, right? Yours alone?

Apparently not.

According to Marilyn Schlitz, president of the Institute of Noetic Sciences, we’re interconnected in a way that hasn’t been studied in conventional science. I don’t have to touch you, or even be in your physical presence, in order to provoke a response. I need only send you my thoughts.

“Intention is very powerful,” says Schlitz. “It gets overrated, but you see intention at work even when you go to put your foot on the ground. And now, we have studies that show your intention has measurable effects on another person’s physiology.”

Schlitz conducted her own laboratory study with 36 couples. A wife was placed in an isolated room with electrodes attached to her hand to measure her unconscious nervous system. A husband, placed in another isolated room with a closed-circuit TV, was instructed to send loving, compassionate thoughts to his wife when her image appeared at random intervals on his screen.

A scientist could then follow a graph of the wife’s physiological responses. The wife stopped relaxing and became “aroused” within about two seconds of her husband’s “messages.”… More

Wanting to find the one isn’t enough. You have to be willing to do what it takes to find him/her. And that means being really honest with yourself.

What would you have to do to be ready for–or attractive to–the sweetheart of your dreams?

Do you have a notion of what she looks like, where he lives, how many kids she has, how he provides for himself, how healthy she is, how well he loves himself, what’s important to her, are you tuned into yourself well enough to tune into him? What is this sweetheart of yours looking for in a partner?

I’m not suggesting you squeeze into a mold–never. I’m suggesting that you’re honest with yourself about whether or not you’re ready to find the one.

If you’re not, you can be! And if you are, he’s right around the corner!… More

So often, people want a magic formula or 3 easy steps. But nothing works, until you want it enough to do what it takes. That IS the magic formula.

What has to happen for you to want it enough to go for it?

It helps to believe in the possibility that your effort will pay off. But you also have to believe that going for it is its own reward, that success isn’t determined by the result.

The satisfaction lies in being true to yourself. And you can only be true to yourself if you know who you are. Once you truly tune into you, you KNOW what you want–you have clarity–and going for it is no longer an option. You just do it!

That’s what happened for me when I quit my corporate job in 1998 to write full time. I KNEW what I wanted; and I knew the only way to fail was not to try.… More

We can react defensively to a partner’s suggestion. We can even dismiss their perspective. But when we do, we bypass the gift, the opportunity to grow into a bigger version of who we are (and strengthen the team).

Why not give your sweetheart the benefit of the doubt and respond as though he has something of value to offer? Why not respond as though she’s on your side? If he doesn’t, if she’s not, you’re sleeping with the enemy. … More

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