Love has no agenda …

From a reader:

“For a while, I thought everything was great! He doesn’t express himself, though. In a card, he writes “love,” but he has never said it. He never e-mails me and asks how I am, or says he can’t wait to see me.

I am starting to think this is not a complete relationship for me. If I am always wondering why he doesn’t just call to say I love you, or e-mail because he misses me, then maybe he doesn’t have those feelings for me.

He did tell me that nobody in his family showed much emotion, and his first wife used to complain about the lack of expression.

Please help me …”

My response:

I suggest you talk to your friend and explain what you have explained to me. Ask if he has “those feelings.”

What is lacking may point to what he’s not giving, but it also points to what you are not giving. That may seem hard to believe, BUT what you think is missing is the expression of his feelings. Are you expressing your feelings to him? Or are you mostly wondering, worrying, analyzing and investigating?

If you are openly expressing your feelings — of concern and love — it may be time to bow out.… More

Taking a deep breath is a little miracle that can help us to re-center … but we don’t have to stop there.

Get to know what gives you a second wind, what refuels you, what makes you KNOW that everything will be okay, that everything is okay. Maybe it’s standing at the edge of the ocean, or walking through the woods, or looking at your sleeping baby. Do it. … More

Keep talking until you don’t need to talk anymore. But don’t keep saying the same words over and over. Find a new way to say what you need to say, so that it can be heard and understood. Then you can stop talking about it, at least for a while.

Communication is an ongoing process. We learn to do it better with practice. Keep at it.… More

When we feel most challenged, exasperated, or angry, we have an opportunity to fall on our butt or take a leap forward!

Both are part of Love School. The leap is part of the Accelerated Learning Program.… More

As long as I know that I am enough, I also know that I have enough time, money, and other resources for the task at hand. I can meet the challenge–whatever it is–in such a way that my integrity remains intact. And that is enough!

When I forget, I will remind myself. I will keep my wits about me and have the presence of mind to create peace of mind.… More