Love has no agenda …

We get what we want, as long as we are willing to go for it. And when we’re unwilling, maybe it’s not what we really want.

One step at a time, we learn how to work for what we want. We create a life that reflects what we have learned so far, and what we have yet to learn.

If we want to know what lesson we’re in the middle of, all we have to do is take a good look at our life.

And I love you the same way I love me–just the way we are.… More

We’re bound to wonder why somebody else — you know, the loose cannon down the street — can’t seem to commit (or break away, as the case may be) once and for all. But we don’t have to look that far to find an emotional roller coaster. Chances are there’s somebody under your own roof you adore one minute and want to blast to the moon the next.

Our emotions can be irrational and still override our intellects.

“Emotion is stronger than thought, preceding it both in evolution and in the wiring of our brain, so an emotion — frustration, rage, sadness, sexual desire, fatigue — can take on a reality independent of external circumstance,” says Henry S. Lodge, M.D., in “Younger Next Year for Women” (also true for men, but I read the women’s version of the book).

It’s no wonder we find ourselves reacting disproportionately when we get caught up in our emotions. While intellectually we know what makes sense — and manage to act on that at least occasionally — our emotions often kick in, particularly in affairs of the heart. No brainer, right?

We may act on the “reality” created by our emotions — or at least spout off about it — almost before we know it.… More

If stress is the difference between what we want and what we have, we could easily feel like sitting ducks this holiday season.

We all have a story about what we want in life, but we tend to paint more detailed pictures around the special occasion chapters. And those pictures, or expectations, leave us wide open to being disappointed — or stressed.

So why not get rid of our preconceived notions? We stop believing in Santa Claus, but cling to destructive beliefs: All the good wives have diamond rings. Our kids should have what other kids have. We have to get these decorations up before it’s too late!

We’re more programmed than we realize, though. We might think the sweater has to be red, the gifts start at midnight, and somebody has to find us irresistible under the mistletoe and under the covers before midnight. And when real life calls on us to ad-lib, we can get flustered. There we are on stage and everybody’s watching; we want to run off and cry, only the curtain never really falls. The show must go on.

Ah, but we can always blame somebody else, or have another drink, or suck it up and try again to do better next year!… More

If you want to order the cheapest thing on the menu or take a budget vacation, go ahead; but don’t resort to practical wishes. What do you really want for Christmas? Now, tell him, tell everybody. Don’t depend on anybody else to deliver it, though.

I remember finally realizing that it was okay to buy myself jewelry, after falling for the fallacy that somebody else was supposed to buy it for me … because they thought I deserved it. Well, guess what? You deserve it, whether he knows it or not; and he’s unlikely to know it before you do.

We’re not talking about entitlement or arrogance. We’re talking about realizing who you are; and connecting with your wishes is a beautiful way to catch a glimpse of the real you! When you trade your dream for what somebody else thinks of you, or what somebody else can afford, or what somebody else customarily picks out for you, you get a distorted view of YOU.

Pretend you have a fairy godmother who’s ready to make an appearance, which means you’re ready for her to make an appearance! A fairy godmother is nothing more than you coming to your own rescue. Now, look through her eyes at you.… More

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