Love has no agenda …

“She’s a cutie — if I weren’t married, she’s somebody I’d flirt with,” says my husband, Sam.

She had just asked (with a becoming smile), before taking our order, “Two Caesars and a Turkey Asiago?”

We’re predictable; but that’s not what this is about. It is about the charm and attraction of those we encounter and our inclination to flirt with them. We like to be noticed and remembered; we like to be known.

Often when we’re attracted to somebody (and have the guts to flirt with him or her, it’s because they’ve expressed some kind of acceptance or attraction to us. We don’t just go for what we want. We go for what we think we can get! That’s right: We want the best partner available — to us — so, we weigh the odds of a positive response before making a move.

And perhaps that’s why some people flirt with everybody! They’ve learned that most people find them attractive — or at least intriguing or sexy or something. If blondes really do have more fun, it’s because, based on studies, they experience a confidence boost by lightening their hair … and, yes, they’re more apt to initiate a romp.… More

Not just any mom. My mom! But everybody’s mom is to be embraced, or claimed, by somebody.

As we grow older, though, it can be more challenging. The environment may play a greater role, genetics a lesser. We can find ourselves growing away from our mothers; and sometimes, it’s the mother who outgrows what she taught her children.

The surest way to maintain the sanctity of the relationship is honesty—even if that provokes temporary distance. We can trust the truth; we can trust love.

Here’s to our moms and our children … and growing our love for them, as we grow our love for ourselves.

Note: Grateful to celebrate with my mom yesterday. All she wanted was a cherry pie, my cherry pie. And she gets to eat the whole thing; I took carrot cupcakes for her to share! And she thought that was a VERY GOOD idea.… More

Years ago, while I was dating a psychiatrist, he told me that I was too often disappointed with him. I was goo-gah over his brain, and he melted me — and everybody else — when he smiled. He saw through people and felt warm toward them; and they knew it. Disappointed in him? Not this girl.

Bless my insecure little 30-year-old heart, though, I acted like I was. Because I felt inferior, I tried not to act intimidated or overly impressed. I was bold in expressing my insight into his issues; he was receptive — not defensive.

When he told me that our issues were clashing, I thought it was mostly about my not feeding his ego. I thought that was a good thing. Without realizing it, though, I continued to feed my own ego and want him to feed it.

Truth is, I wanted desperately to feel good enough for him!
Now I realize that he probably saw through my defensiveness, and understood his own need for reinforcement. He still wanted somebody who was impressed by him. I was — the condo, the car, the Yale degree — but I was unable to express that freely. I was too self-conscious about what I saw as my own shortcomings to ignore what I saw as his shortcomings and underscore his long list of strengths.… More

Love is everywhere, within and without. But we can’t force love, because to force love is to doubt love. And doubt, birthed by fear, displaces love … trust nurtures love.… More

Trying to relate through walls around your heart is like trying to have sex through a chastity belt. It’s not going to happen–at least not well. Until you have experienced naked relationships, though, you cannot fully appreciate the depth of what you are missing. Once you have known the freedom, and the pleasure, you will not go back.

Note: This is the first paragraph from the introduction of my first book: Naked Relationships … sharing your authentic self to find the partner of your dreams.… More

Imagine watching your life from a distance as a sacred story. See how all the pieces fit together. Trust what’s happening right now to be a beautiful segment. Let the light in. Be a vessel for love … let the story unfold, and let it manifest all the fullness of love.

Trust that in the realm of no time and no space the ending has been written. And it is HAPPY … happier than you can yet imagine!… More