Love has no agenda …

Dear Friends,

We can learn to get what we want in life. And part of that is learning to align our desires, our intentions, and our beliefs. I’m finally really getting this.

When we have a desire, we want something. When we have an intention, we intend to have what it is we want. And when we intend to have it, we live life as though we will have it. If we only want something, we may intend to go on wanting it indefinitely. We may go through the motions of doing something about our desire only to relieve our sense of obligation to do something, with no real intention of ever satisfying our desire.

If we want something and we don’t intend to have it, chances are we have conflicting desires or limiting beliefs.

Maybe you want to lose ten pounds and you also want to continue to eat as much as you’re eating now. Hmmm … looking honestly at both of your desires allows you to see an option you may have missed. And the option to burn more calories — rather than eat fewer calories — may spur an intention.

Maybe you want to get along with your sweetheart and you also want to make him see how wrong he is.… More

Dear Friends,

If you’re looking for a partner to spend the rest of your life with and frequently find yourself disenchanted, consider raising the standard. I know, somebody else might suggest you lower it. Somebody else might tell you that you’re being too picky. But you wouldn’t really expect that from me, right?

We like the idea of wowing somebody in a relationship. It feels good! There’s an inherent problem in wowing somebody, though. It’s disenchantment. If he’s stunned by your brilliance, are you going to feel stimulated by his?

And, is he going to help you reach the next level — or encourage complacency? If he’s amazed by your incredible muscle tone, he might not be the rigorous workout partner you’re looking for. If she’s in awe of your pure heart, she’s not apt to discern a weak moment and help you get back on track.

If somebody is too impressed with who you are, beware of his standards. Consider her ability to keep your attention.

If you want somebody who will help inspire you to reach the next level, don’t look for somebody who’s overly impressed.

Of course, somebody can be wowed, without being wowed across the board. Maybe he’s wowed with your spirit but not your mind.… More

What gives us the impetus to do what is at hand? Is it an encouraging word OR a kick in the butt?

Sometimes we need one, sometimes the other. In both cases, somebody’s saying, “I believe in you!”

And as we take action, we grow faith in ourselves–and in love! When we do what we can, we feel the strength of love. When we show kindness, we see the compassion of love. When we give generously, we share the abundance of love. When we demonstrate understanding, we know the peace of love.

When we give legs to love, we experience the power of love as part of us.

I believe in you! I must! Because I believe in love!… More

Maybe you haven’t reached your potential yet. But neither have you diminished it!

What do you want to do with it NOW?… More

Whether I write about breaking up or compatibility or communication, it always comes down to the same thing — know and love who you are (so that you can share all of you with enthusiasm and be at peace, regardless of the outcome).

When we spend enough quality time to get to know who we are, we realize how wonderfully made we are! But that means stopping the busyness, all the excuses we find not to be alone with ourselves, and all of our efforts to make ourselves good enough — with another promotion, a bigger house, a trip, even meeting the needs of others, so that we don’t have to face our own. The reason we’re so busy is that we can’t get enough of whatever we fill our lives up with, to make us happy. We keep adding more and more and more.

When we break away from the treadmill, we find out that everything we were looking for — nothing more than happiness, really — was right there within us all along. The only way to be happy is to be true to what’s inside. The only way to be unhappy is to be untrue to what’s inside.… More

We continually choose what “makes” us happy or unhappy. But if we do it out of habit — or by default — we may scarcely realize that we can and do choose.

Each of our choices yields a consequence. And we learn from consequences. Unfortunately, part of what we learn perpetuates the negative — and keeps us from doing something about it.

If, for example, somebody breaks off a relationship with you, you might attribute it to your inadequacy and reinforce your habitual thinking that you’re not good enough. Discouraged, you fumble the proverbial ball, which perpetuates your negative opinion of yourself.

Your thoughts trigger feelings; your feelings inspire actions; and your actions get results that “make” you squeal with delight or scream or simply plod on. This cycle repeats itself — over and over again. And you just might find yourself in a rut or living a life based on bad habits.

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit,” said Aristotle.

You can develop new habits — or excellence. Begin by thinking new thoughts. That’s painless. In fact, it just might come as a relief, if you let it. Don’t take on any pressure to make changes or act on the thoughts.… More