Love has no agenda …

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“The best women will always be attracted to the men with the strongest convictions,” writes one reader.

Maybe he’s on to something, assuming that the men with the strongest convictions also live by them. We’re all looking for our way, so when somebody seems to have found theirs, that somebody (male or female) can be very attractive.

I’m not talking about arrogant or narrow-minded. Those qualities don’t attract the “best” women — or men. When somebody really knows the truth, he has a quiet self-assurance, and he’s not close-minded or threatened by a difference in philosophy.

I am talking about somebody who knows what he believes independent of society or religion or political party or club, somebody who has heard his own music and isn’t afraid to dance to it.

Imagine the earth as one giant dance floor. You can look around and see people who go through the motions as though they can’t quite feel the music. You see others trying to find some good moves to mimic. And, you see others who close their eyes and move effortlessly to the beat.

People with strong convictions hear their own music … and they’re not afraid to get out there and dance.… More

“Relationships don’t work when people get hooked up with opposites, instead of partners with similar traits who like what they like,” says one reader.

Not bad … but it’s not quite that simple.

“Similar” is most apt to work after two people have accepted who they are, and are no longer trying to get somebody else to give them what they “lack.” Opposites sometimes attract each other to compensate for what they think they’re missing.

If, for example, you long to be comfortable socializing, you might be attracted to somebody who’s outgoing and well connected in the community. And although, as an introvert, you could be intrigued by a socialite for a while, novelty is generally short lived. While an extrovert is fueled by the crowd, an introvert is drained by it — even when enjoying it — and might want more space to catch his (or her) breath than he can find with an extrovert.

This is a perfect example of how two people can get enthralled with each other — briefly. Infatuation rarely survives for more than a year.

On the other hand, if you’ve learned that you can mingle with a crowd of strangers, and still prefer to spend your time with intimate friends, you just might accept yourself as-is.… More

If the only way to be happy is to be true to yourself, what we really want to talk about is getting to know the self! And when we say it that way, we recognize the enormity of the task. “The essence of knowledge is self-knowledge,” said the Greek philosopher Plato.

“Know thyself,” is accepted as the corner stone on which the temples of philosophy were erected; and without the corner stone, all other knowing crumbles. It is the quest that has traveled with man from the launching of a soul until the present day. It has, from the beginning, transcended continent, race, culture, and tradition. But if the sages of every age have sought the knowing, only for the next generation to seek it again, how can we have the audacity to take on the task. How can we not?

The knowing is not knowledge that can be passed on. The knowing is uncovered only in the process of seeking it. No man has rights to it; yet all men have the right to pursue it. And so, we must seek it.

How? Face the mirror. Face the expressions formed on other faces when they encounter yours. Face the pain of looking inward that you are tempted to avoid.… More

If you sincerely want to let go of more of your ego, ask your partner not to feed it. Ask her not to tip-toe around your impatience. Ask him to let you know when you get defensive, instead of helping you hold up the shield. Ask her to nudge you when you’re dropping names or exaggerating in conversation to make yourself look good.

Your partner in love is your partner in letting go of what gets in love’s way. … More

I don’t know how everything best comes together or how it should all play out. I only have to do MY part, though, the part I know. And when I’ve done that, I can trust whatever comes.

Dance, baby, dance.

Photo Credit: Valerie Ann Stemberger… More