Love has no agenda …

How do you want to be loved? Can you picture what that looks like? What you look like?

Love yourself that way. Look like that.

That is the only secret to getting the love you want from somebody else!… More

I promise not to take myself too seriously at the top of the next hill.

Okay, I just increased my chances of getting there.… More

The thing you’re most afraid to let go of is the one thing that stands between you and what you want. You probably have an excess of it … and you probably used it to cope as a child.

It’s your security blanket; and in moments of fear, you want the blanket more than you want anything else. You cling to it like it’s a matter of life and death. It used to be.

You don’t need it anymore! You can tap into your unconscious to identify the blanket; and then you can trade it for what you want.

You can also stop defaulting to the blanket in hundreds of ways in the course of everyday life—at work, in your relationships, making dinner, and deciding what to wear!

You can be free to live the life of your dreams—instead of your unconscious programming! … More

Love has nothing to prove. And neither do you! You’re free to be you.

The next time you’re on a date–even if it’s with your spouse–make sure the person you present is the real you. Let them get to know you; that’s an ongoing process. Remember, you can’t feel loved if you’re shielded by shiny armor (that could look like a padded wallet, pretty words, or a fake laugh).

I’m not suggesting that you blast anybody with your anger or intolerance. That’s your ego! In fact, any negative emotion, or argument, is birthed by “I’m not good enough.” You are!

When you express your true feelings, your discomfort, and your dreams, you are refreshed and refueled … instead of drained! You are also loved. Because YOU are lovable.

Grow into yourself, grow out of your comfort zone. Don’t just live. Thrive! … More

We’ve all tried to put what we hoped a hot prospect would see as our “best foot” forward, while trying to hide our “worst foot.” Predictably, we fall on our face.

If we want an enduring relationship, we have to stand on our own two feet, the truth of who we are, for better or worse. There’s nothing more liberating or satisfying, but that’s a little known — or experienced — fact.

Why? When we fall on our face, instead of getting the lesson, we’re apt to lose some of our confidence … and the more confidence we lose, the more scared we are to gamble with what little we have left!

Thus, we find ourselves trying to have heart-to-heart talks and relationships while shielding our hearts and stumbling over our own two feet. We think that if we can just manage to keep our “flaws” under wraps until after the “I-dos,” everything will be OK.

When it’s not, we can learn from it, or we can reinforce our defenses and keep our distance. Enter the emotionally unavailable.

By hiding the pieces of ourselves that we fear will be rejected, we live a lonely existence, regardless of how visible we make our facade in the process.… More

I was in paradise wandering from one little alcove to another, with angel trumpets cascading overhead and roses perfuming the morning air. The wonderment of spring in a garden is unmatched, except maybe by the wonderment of spring in a relationship!

In the spring, we see the miracle of what’s growing. We are intrigued by the newness and the wonder of flourishing possibilities. We tend what’s blooming, so we can celebrate more flowers; and taking advantage of Mother Nature, we plant annuals to create a virtual carpet of color, knowing they won’t survive the winter.

There is always something we can plant, though. Every season has its own magic. And in relationships, we direct the flow from one season to the next. We don’t have to jump to another relationship or warmer climate to find paradise; we can just stay connected with the wonder.

We can shine our own light and spread our own colors. We can add freshness and possibility and awe. We can cultivate the relationship of our dreams … and appreciate the ongoing, albeit changing, splendor.

We can welcome each transition. We can find sanctuary to refuel our body, mind and spirit — without feeling guilty or distant!… More