Love has no agenda …

Especially if you’ve been thinking about your “imperfections” lately, please ask yourself this question: At what point did I lose my perfection?

We think of a newborn baby as perfect. When the baby cries, we still think he’s perfect. He is. When he tries to crawl and can’t, we still think he’s perfect. We see his stumbling as part of what makes him perfect. We delight in his effort and encourage him to grow.

Yet for some reason when we, as adults, stumble in an effort to take the next step or get the next lesson, we tend to point to a personal “imperfection” — or blame it on somebody else. Pointing to “imperfections” reinforces them. Eventually, we come to expect less of ourselves; maybe we even quit trying. And blaming somebody else is no more effective.

Rather than kick yourself while you are down, encourage yourself. Give yourself points for effort. Don’t just do it to be kind. Do it to be fair!

Encourage yourself the way you would encourage your baby, because that might be the best example you have of your ability to love unconditionally. And that’s the only way to really love somebody, including yourself.

You are doing the best you can do.… More

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According to a recent study, half of married/partnered women are dissatisfied with their sex life … and I’m guessing some of the other half were afraid to admit to it.

Our satisfaction — men’s and women’s — correlates with how much disparity there is between what we have and what we want. What’s not clear is what we really want versus what we’ve been programmed to want.

We can be preoccupied by what the media portrays pretty people as having, or what parents say is appropriate, or what somebody suggested was normal. And conflicting notions alone are enough to make us feel unsettled and dissatisfied.

Before marrying my first husband and having sex for the first time, I thought sex would be a spectacular, mystical experience. I imagined something, without any idea what, equivalent to fireworks, but it was years before I saw anything close. You may have thought you were alone in your disappointment, but I suspect you’re in the majority.

Our imaginations — though they lack details — are fueled by unrealistic love stories on silver screens. And it is no wonder that we choose those over the reality that we see in parents and other would-be role models.… More

If a relationship is worth your time, it’s worth all of you. Be there with passion–cartwheels, kisses, tears, and sparkles. This is no place for less; your life is no place for less! … More

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I hope you have found paradise this summer. I hope you have found the place where everything is okay. It is within you.

And when you find it, your external world reflects its peace and beauty. It is perfect — not because it is ideal by anybody else’s standards, but because it is ideal by yours. It is ideal by yours because you see it through knowing eyes, and because you trust that you are getting exactly what you need. And because you are open to getting what you need from what’s there, you do.

It is like being on a vacation perfectly planned by your psychotherapist, your mentor, and your personal trainer. You trust them to serve your highest good. You are able to feel the sweetness in tears; you sit with your feelings beside the water. You are able to see the growth in sore muscles; you relax into a full-body massage in the garden. You are refreshed.

Your spirit sings. Your lips invite kisses. Your heart and your mind are open. You are present to delight in what is, without worrying about what is not.

If you haven’t found your paradise this summer, you can. It’s not going anywhere!… More