Love has no agenda …

We had a date-day yesterday (date-nights run past our bedtime). Flew to Sanford for lunch at a diner, interviewed for global entry (to save time in customs), walked along the water, and enjoyed an early dinner in a gorgeous plane hangar. Oh, and Sam took a nap! … More

From the time we learn the word “no,” we begin to get the message that what we would do naturally is “bad.”

As young children, we can’t make a distinction between our behavior and ourselves, so we buy into a lie — the lie that in order to be good enough we have to sit still and be quiet, or look pretty, or SOMETHING. But you know as well as I do that some of the demands we place on children (and ourselves) are more apt to stifle them than make them good.
“Even if you were fortunate enough to grow up in a safe, nurturing environment, you still bear invisible scars from childhood, because from the very moment you were born you were a complex, dependent creature with a never-ending cycle of needs. Freud correctly labeled us ‘insatiable beings.’ And no parents, no matter how devoted, are able to respond perfectly to all of these changing needs,” says Harville Hendrix in his bestselling “Getting the Love You Want.”

We have a fundamental motivation to be accepted, which is why you might jump to defend yourself, your parents, your children (even while reading this). Rejection used to point to a problem that needed our attention, and our survival depended on how sensitive and responsive we were.… More

We grow up learning to cope, which means defending ourselves and proving ourselves. Then we’re faced with adult responsibilities that somehow interrupt our dreams and our passions.

So remembering who we really are can be like trying to remember a dream. But to truly love ourselves AND get the love we long for from somebody else, we must know and share who we actually are!

We can! YOU can! … More

When you and your partner rub each other the wrong way, you’re still partners. And the task at hand is to polish the rough edges.

Love doesn’t have any.… More

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