Love has no agenda …

In a sea of self-help, swimming with bigger and smarter fish, I will be so bold as to isolate the one thing that spawned humankind’s cries for salvation. Then I will label it a lie. I will explain where the lie came from and why we mostly still believe it. And I will do my best to convince you that, despite any and all evidence to the contrary, you are all that is good–not that you can be, or that you will be when you meet certain criteria, but that you are innately good, innately love, innately more than you ever dreamed of being.

Note: This is the opening paragraph from my book “Innately Good: Dispelling the Myth That You’re Not” (Health Communications, 2008).… More

There is a direct relationship between how much you’re stretching and how happy you are.… More

It takes more courage to dance poorly than to dance well. I know this.

But when we get out of our comfort zone and dance, or whatever it is, we get better at it. Most of us have to practice … falling down and getting up again.

And, as it turns out, that’s what life is about. Maybe it’s the only thing we have to get good at!

Let go and dance! … More

We might feel obligated to make New Year’s resolutions … but they’re often the same old promises or endeavors.

I put “write a book” on my list every year as far back as 1990; and Hampton Roads didn’t publish my first book “Naked Relationships” until 2002.

What takes us so long to get what we want — whether it’s losing 20 pounds, breaking a habit or changing careers? Fear.

Fear is the only thing that holds us back, or trips us up as we’re trying to move forward. We might “fail” because of a lack of desire, effort, follow-through, or understanding of what we truly want. But in every case, the “lack” is rooted in fear.

You might do a stand-up job of documenting your goal (year after year, like I did) to lose 20 pounds, but still lack the motivation to eat less and burn more calories. With all the hoopla on dieting, who knew it was so simple! Smile.

But what if you weren’t afraid to order a meal at your favorite restaurant and share it or take half of it home? If you knew you could have just as much fun, and look like your best self, eating half as much food, you’d do it, right?… More

Remember your favorite fairytale? What can it teach you about yourself, why you’ve done what you’ve done and, perhaps, what you’re still waiting for?

Mine was “Cinderella.” She diligently swept and sang, undeterred and untainted by her mean stepmother and stepsisters. And, she was rewarded … with a prince, no less.

It’s so telling. I’ve spent a big chunk of my life trying to smile while I forged ahead with what I thought was expected of a “good” person.

As it turns out, the sun and the rain come down on the just and the not so just. Darn, I knew that; I grew up with the Bible. And good behavior is its own reward — provided our motivation is pure.

It’s tempting to turn our good behavior into a self-righteous cloak that makes us better than everybody else … only a self-righteous cloak doesn’t really score any “good” points.

I recently watched the movie “Michael” for the first time. It’s about a scratch-where-it-itches angel who ate too much sugar and taught people to take the long way home and laugh more.

Played by John Travolta, Michael probably defies your fairytale images. We don’t just get confused (at a very young age) about what our goodness looks like; we get confused about what goodness in general looks like.… More

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