Love has no agenda …

When I try to love a partner before I love myself, I’m trying to get love in return. I can’t love unconditionally. … More

If you want to know how well he will love you, just look at how well he loves himself. Don’t look at how well he seems to love his mother, his kids, or his employees; he could have an agenda tied to that.

Look at how well he cares for himself—body, mind, and spirit. Look at how much he knows and respects himself for who he is, not what he has, or what he has done. Look at how promptly he responds to his needs. Does he do it joyfully or begrudgingly.

He will love you as he loves himself! … More

To truly love yourself, or anybody else, you must look beyond what you can see with your eyes. What you’re made of can’t be seen or measured. And it can’t be bound by physical limitations or circumstances.

Your essence IS love. And it trumps everything else. … More

The media hosts an ongoing parade of beautiful people. They even offer commentary on the most beautiful eyes, lips and buttocks…helping us to embrace both a false sense of normal and a false sense of ideal.

There is no ideal. And there certainly is no ideal for everybody — 5’10” cannot be ideal for a woman who is 5’4″. I know this!

Yet studies show that the vast majority of women are uncomfortable with their looks, particularly their bodies. But women are giving men — who live longer, stay more active and marry women half their age (I’m funny, not bitter, really) — a taste of how it feels to be gawked at, reveled in and critiqued.

Still, women are more apt to be trapped in their innate desire to please men (the creation story in Genesis nails this). Measuring up to the ideal they think men want weighs on them, the way being strong and powerful weighs on many men.

Think about it, though. The average man is less than 5 feet 10 inches tall. Do you really think he prefers a 5-foot 10-inch woman to make him feel big and strong? There is no ideal match, either; I think God made my husband, Sam, 6’3″ just to remove any doubt.… More

From a reader: “I am a 46-year-old man who has been divorced for almost four years, with part-time custody of my 8-year-old daughter. I am getting discouraged with the whole dating thing and do not want just a casual affair. I am handsome, caring, professional, artistic, funny, handy, intelligent, I cook, and I truly care about other people. I know this may come across as arrogant, but I am truly not.

I can’t seem to meet someone I can have a meaningful relationship with. I am not super-picky, I just want someone who takes care of herself, is moral, enjoys life, has no addictions and can give and receive love. I think this is pretty basic stuff.

It consistently appears to me that if you treat women with somewhat neglect, they want you. Treat them with respect and romance, and it sends them packing. …I make a strong effort not to come on too strong within the first few months of a relationship.

A friend of mine who is female said that I scare women off because I seem too good to be true. What do you think is my problem?”

Expensive cars, powerful jobs, and I-can-have-anybody-I-want attitudes get a woman’s attention, much the way red lips and exposed curves get a man’s.… More

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