Love has no agenda …

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When you don’t feel happy with your body, it’s hard to believe that somebody else does. It’s hard to let somebody else! It’s hard to enjoy somebody else loving you physically.

If you want a healthy love life and sex life, do what you have to do to get happy with all of you, to love all of you.… More

Dear Friends,

Sometimes we’re so stuck in an unhealthy relationship or so surrounded by them that we think that’s just how it is. It’s not.
Relationships are intended to be happy! And you can learn how to do them well.

After my second divorce, I got a second wind and resolved to get it right. I started writing about relationships, and my local paper launched my weekly column. It got syndicated, allowing me to pick the brains of leading experts. I did it with zeal, for ten years.
And I’ve been writing and practicing ever since to bring the science, the art, and the spirit of love together.

Whether you’re in a relationship that falls short of your dreams, or you’re still looking for or waiting for “the one,” I invite you to join me.

Informal Talk and Questions and Answers
Ocala, Florida
Saturday, February 16, 10 AM – noon
$20 includes refreshments and one of my books

Text me with questions: 386-299-6256
Register on my website: www.JanDenise.com… More

It can be tempting to squeeze yourself into a lover’s mold for you. Don’t.

Don’t stifle your magic with their constraints. Maybe it doesn’t sound like something you’d do. You’re an independent citizen of the world, right? That doesn’t mean you don’t act like a puppy dog in a relationship! You have, probably within the last week, feigned pleasure in something, rather than disappoint your sweetheart … and if that seems harmless, imagine the burden of keeping up a façade for the rest of your life.

You might not even realize you do it; but remember when you really wanted a burger and ended up eating a salad, instead? Or maybe you were so ready to get a good night’s sleep when you accommodated their sexual move, instead. Or maybe you watch movies you find shallow, walk when you feel like running, wait for them to say, “I love you,” or bite your tongue during still another vacation with the in-laws.

Starting to see yourself as a little less independent? Think about who you are when you’re not in a relationship, or who you would be if you hadn’t been married for so much of your life. What are you going without because you thought you had to sacrifice it for a relationship?… More

From the time we learn the word “no,” we begin to get the message that what we would do naturally is “bad.”

As young children, we can’t make a distinction between our behavior and ourselves, so we buy into a lie — the lie that in order to be good enough we have to sit still and be quiet, or look pretty, or SOMETHING. But you know as well as I do that some of the demands we place on children (and ourselves) are more apt to stifle them than make them good.

“Even if you were fortunate enough to grow up in a safe, nurturing environment, you still bear invisible scars from childhood, because from the very moment you were born you were a complex, dependent creature with a never-ending cycle of needs. Freud correctly labeled us ‘insatiable beings.’ And no parents, no matter how devoted, are able to respond perfectly to all of these changing needs,” says Harville Hendrix in his bestselling “Getting the Love You Want.”

We have a fundamental motivation to be accepted, which is why you might jump to defend yourself, your parents, your children (even while reading this). Rejection used to point to a problem that needed our attention, and our survival depended on how sensitive and responsive we were.… More

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