Love has no agenda …

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As we celebrate 13 years of marriage, I want to say how much I love and appreciate Sam. What I most treasure is how well he knows me.

He critiques my writing and tells me how deep I am. Sometimes he even refers to my brilliance. But what he’s really telling me is that I have failed to articulate what I wanted to say, that I haven’t said it in such a way that people can understand it or relate to it. I haven’t made it real or graspable.

He reminds me that he knows what I’m saying, because he knows me. He can fill in all the blanks. Even when I fall short of explaining how I feel, he knows. Sometimes he even helps me to better understand it.

That’s the love we’re looking for. That’s the love we long for. We want to be seen, known, and understood. We want somebody to tune into us and get us!

I am grateful. And with all my heart, all my mind, and my very soul, I love my baby.

Happy Anniversary to us!

And love and smiles to you!… More

We cannot create our greatness. We can only allow it.
Realizing that truth is an epic challenge.

Acting on it is THE challenge. … More

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When in doubt: If you can’t do it wholeheartedly, you can’t do it in love. Don’t talk yourself into it to save yourself or somebody else!

Love is not motivated by fear!… More

Summer demands that we bare all those body parts we’ve conveniently layered in sweaters. And if you’re feeling squeamish about that, you’re trying to protect more than just your abs and your thighs from rejection.

When you accept the rest of you, you also accept your physical body. You embrace who you are inside and out, regardless of other people’s opinions. Stay with me, though, I’m not just talking about the unconditional acceptance that gets so much hype.

Let’s think in terms of loving yourself. What does that really look like? Accepting yourself unconditionally is only one segment of it. You want to know, respect, and care for all of you.

You can’t, for example, merely accept your complacency or “white” lies or defensiveness and expect to also feel good about yourself. Self-esteem comes from being true to you, or aligning your behavior with your values, from doing what you know to do to the best of your ability.

And when you’ve done that, you’ve spent enough time in solitude to know what you really believe and what you can do with your whole heart. You’ve come to understand the pain behind your anger, the insecurity behind your defensiveness, and the fear that keeps you from doing what you most want to do.… More