Commitment is an ongoing choice …
He (or she) is snuggling up to you as though nothing’s wrong, but you don’t even want to be there. How did you end up married to this guy anyway? Right now it seems like any one of three suitors would have been a better option … and you’re still counting.
The grass on the other side of the fence beckons. You could use a little wooing and tenderness, from somebody who’s not taking you for granted even after blatantly insulting you.
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Commitment Model, developed by Caryl Rusbult, Ph.D.
Satisfaction: How effectively your needs for security, companionship, intimacy, and sexuality are being satisfied.
Quality of Alternatives: How effectively those same needs would be satisfied independent of the existing relationship. Alternatives can include a specific person, the field of eligibles in general, and self, family, and friends apart from a romantic relationship.
Investment: The value of what would be lost if the relationship were to end. Investment includes the time and effort poured directly into a relationship to make it better, as well as the house, children, and friends indirectly tied to the relationship.
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Before you seriously consider jumping the fence, though, talk about it or at least let him know how you feel.… More