Love has no agenda …

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When 50 percent of marriages end in divorce, 75 percent of divorcees remarry, 65 percent of their marriages include children from another marriage and 60 percent of those marriages end in divorce, can there be anything traditional left about the “traditional family”?

As my husband and I were recently introduced to exes, stepparents and stepsiblings at a party, we found ourselves trying to put the puzzle together…and pieces of it were ours.

We’re creating new traditions. We have more working moms and fewer children, but baby sisters and big brothers no longer have to be birthed or adopted. They can be married into.

Some studies show that children from divorced families have more social and emotional problems than those from intact families. But surely children from divorced families who become part of healthy families can have fewer social and emotional problems than children who remain in unhealthy intact families?

We’d do better to make loving — rather than staying together or divorcing — the tradition. And if we make loving the tradition before getting married (the first time), we’re bound to have fewer divorces and stronger families.

We must start where we are, though. For some of us, it is too late to marry for love the first time.… More

From a reader: “You said what makes two people compatible is how deeply and broadly they connect. Intuitively, it sounds right to me, but what exactly does it mean? How does it play out in a relationship?”

To connect deeply we have to get naked, not just physically (that’s the easy part), but mentally and emotionally. We can’t skate on the surface chatting about the weather and expect to attract a soul mate.

We have to risk talking about religion and politics, spirituality and values, dreams we still dream, lessons we can’t seem to learn, and fears we still run from. We have to share from a deep place inside of us if we want to connect deeply. As simple as that sounds, it can be difficult just to face some of what’s in there, let alone pull it out and share it with somebody we’re trying to impress.

The irony is that once you’ve looked at what’s in there, you start to realize how amazing you are! That doesn’t mean everybody will connect with you. But whether they connect or not, if you’re trying to determine compatibility, rather than prove it, your mission is accomplished! And there need not be any hurt feelings.… More

All my life, I’ve been grateful for good health. And I’ve also been aware, on occasion, that I needed to be reminded of how pain and illness affect daily life. In other words, I needed a dose of empathy.

Likewise, sometimes we need a dose of compassion–not just for ourselves, but for others. We cannot give them, what we do not give ourselves.
So, when we get sick OR fall on our face, we can be thankful … not thankful that we need a reminder, but thankful that as long as we do need a reminder, we will get one.

Life is way cool. It teaches us to love well. And that’s as good as it gets.

May I just say I love you. I mean it with all of my heart.… More

May we be present for the glory in each moment, rather than distracted by doubting how well God will play His role!

He’s got it!… More

If all you have is one more rock, one more dollar, or one more move, use it. Do what you can with what you have; and you’ll always have enough. So much more than enough!… More