Love has no agenda …

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If you find yourself feeling dissatisfied with what your partner is doing or not doing, don’t just ask for what you want. Make sure you let him (or her) do it.

Don’t be afraid to accept help, to give your partner some credit, to let go of their inadequacy and the notion that your relationship doesn’t work. Let go of your need to blame somebody if it doesn’t. And LET it work. … More

When you’re not sure what the truth is, your unconscious knows. And getting to it, might be easier than you think.

Try this: Sit quietly by yourself, free of distractions. Solitude can be as elusive as healing; but they’re almost synonymous. Now pick up a pen with your left hand (or your right hand if you’re left-handed) and begin to write about the matter in question.

“My right hand is my grown-up hand — a writer’s hand, a minister’s hand — but when I wrote with the left hand, I found that what tended to come out was as artless and basic as the awkward scrawl it came out in. It was as if some of my secrets had at last found a way of communicating with me directly,” says Frederick Buechner in Telling Secrets, his wonderfully rich memoir.

So, find solitude, but try not to be too grown up about it. Try not to intellectualize. And don’t be afraid. You can trust what comes out to be a loving step toward a happier you. … More

You used to go to your in-laws for Thanksgiving Day. Now, you host dinner, but your father-in-law still carves the turkey … and your husband still yields at every point with, “Yes, Sir.” It took you the first six years of your marriage to really know the groom; and you’re still trying to get to know the guy he turns into around his father! Or, maybe you’re too busy resenting the charade to try to understand it.

Remember the first time you were dumbfounded watching your sweetheart with his college buddies or his pals from the old neighborhood? You watched this man who had romanced you with poetry and baby talk turn into a gruff, back-slapping guy with a limited vocabulary. That was a poignant picture of how men communicate differently with different people — especially when they haven’t yet come into their own.

Enough about him, though. How does your behavior change when your oldest sister arrives on the scene or your ex shows up unexpectedly? Who intimidates you so much that you become somebody you don’t want to be, somebody you’re not?

Oddly enough, one of those people could be your sweetheart!

With all the entertaining and socializing coming up, this is the perfect time to observe how free you are, with and without an audience … whether that audience is your sweetheart, the crew from work, or your mother.… More

Your greatness is more real than your shortcomings. Your connectedness is more real than your separateness. Your joy is more real than your suffering. Because without fear, there is no shortcoming, no separateness, and no suffering.

And there isn’t really anything to be afraid of.… More

Sunday with my baby … breakfast followed by three miles of just being together at Shalom Park. … More