Love has no agenda …

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We know we have deviated from love when: We doubt. We get impatient. We judge. We get scared. We make excuses. We get provoked. We feel proud. Or we try to be right.

But when we deviate, we don’t have to judge ourselves, or get impatient, or provoked, or scared. We don’t have to make excuses for our behavior, or try to be right. We don’t have to doubt our worth. And we don’t have to be too proud to admit that we have deviated.

We can simply return to love. … More

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Sexual fantasies are like dreams. They don’t adhere to our self-imposed or societal guidelines for what’s acceptable.

Consequently, we might feel uncomfortable — or even guilty — about what arouses us. Do you listen to those who admonish you to keep to the straight and narrow? Or do you follow the school of thought that says fantasies make for healthier and more exciting relationships?

In any case, you can’t really control what arouses you; you can only avoid or deny it.

In one study, women reportedly fudged about what pictures most aroused them. The thing is, they were “wired” (like taking a polygraph test); and their physical symptoms revealed the truth that they apparently found embarrassing.

Assuming women shouldn’t have to feel guilty about what photos aroused them — they didn’t even conjure up the images, they simply looked at what a facilitator flashed in front of them — why should you have to feel guilty about what your body responds to?

More awareness of what is, however primal, can help us to make better informed choices. We don’t have to limit our consciousness to what slaps us in the face or that part of the dream we were dreaming when we awoke in a sweat.… More

Being true to ourselves, while honoring the one we love, is an ongoing choice. We continually balance meeting our own needs with responding to the needs of the one we love. And unless we meet our own needs FIRST, we have compromised our ability to see and respond to our sweetheart’s needs. We have also compromised our peace, our joy, and our health!

We can’t tune into a partner’s needs and respond to them to the best of our ability, if WE are chronically “hungry.” It may seem easier to provide what a sweetheart needs than to assess our own needs and meet them, but that doesn’t mean it truly serves us–or our partner.

And the longer we choose “easy,” the tougher it is to break the habit. We can do it, though; and we can ask our sweetheart for help. A partner who loves us wants us to be the best we can be–even if it means less immediate gratification for them.

When we step back and look at the big picture, it can be more apparent what serves the highest good, not just for today, but for a lifetime.

photo: Christmas selfie in the Bahamas… More