Love has no agenda …

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Occasionally the truth flashes in front of us; and we catch a glimpse of what contradicts the theory that we’re being honest, or that we have it all together, or that it’s somebody else’s fault that we don’t. We’re busy, though; we don’t have time to sit with the truth. And acting on it is just too much this week … this month … and this year.

Let’s not be too busy for the truth today. … More

Creating a healthy relationship is the challenge of a lifetime; because it requires that WE get healthy.

Instead, we get scared. We fumble. We try too hard. Often, we see everything through our skewed beliefs. And our would-be partner may not be ready.

What’s missing is what we’re not giving, though. And when we give it, we wield the magic. Yes, magic! … More

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With the zeal of a diligent seeker, I have researched love and interviewed the experts in order to deliver the goods on intimacy, passion and commitment. The fairy tale is real, but it is more than a happy ending. When we see Cinderella being swept away by the prince, we forget how many years she spent in self-therapy while cleaning her stepmother’s house.

The relationship you want can only be had through hard work on yourself … and that’s the work we do our best to avoid. It’s much easier to shell out money. Americans spend 35 billion dollars a year on unproven diet products because they find it too difficult to eat less.

And eating less is easy compared to getting naked. We’re scared to death to strip away the family, the house, the degree, the job, the kids. We’ve defined ourselves by appearance, grades, athletic ability, good behavior or rebellion as far back as we can remember. You’re not alone if you’re thinking, “Who would I be without all that?” Most of us don’t know.

Strip away what can be quantified, seen or touched, and you have your authentic self. You have that for which you want to be known and loved.… More

According to a recent study, half of married/partnered women are dissatisfied with their sex life … and I’m guessing some of the other half were afraid to admit to it.

Our satisfaction — men’s and women’s — correlates with how much disparity there is between what we have and what we want. What’s not clear is what we really want versus what we’ve been programmed to want.

We can be preoccupied by what the media portrays pretty people as having, or what parents say is appropriate, or what somebody suggested was normal. And conflicting notions alone are enough to make us feel unsettled and dissatisfied.

Before marrying my first husband and having sex for the first time, I thought sex would be a spectacular, mystical experience. I imagined something, without any idea what, equivalent to fireworks, but it was years before I saw anything close. You may have thought you were alone in your disappointment, but I suspect you’re in the majority.

Our imaginations — though they lack details — are fueled by unrealistic love stories on silver screens. And it is no wonder that we choose those over the reality that we see in parents and other would-be role models.… More