Love has no agenda …

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We confuse sex with love. And because we can’t get enough sex to satisfy our need for love, we’re hooked on sex and hungry for love. But we keep trying; because infatuation and orgasm do open a window into love. We involuntarily drop our boundaries and connect with somebody. Somebody gets us! And that’s the love we want … but the boundaries automatically go up again.

We’re left wanting, and we Band-aid the ouch; but behind that ouch is the belief that we are somehow unlovable. We have to replace that lie with the truth, in order to heal the wound.

Then, rather than hiding parts of who we are for fear of rejection, we can share our nakedness to know authentic love–with sex as a byproduct, rather than a substitute.… More

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He’s just not that interested in sex anymore … and desire has always been a big turn-on for me.

She said the words, without realizing their significance, during a weekend retreat designed to help her and her husband restore intimacy in their relationship. Women want to be sexually desired. It’s in their genes … and, for the most part, they work at it.

So, when men don’t demonstrate their longing, women can be sorely disappointed.

What many women don’t seem to understand is that men are also turned on by their partner’s yearning … and this can be particularly true in a committed relationship, in which the man is foregoing the variety he’s biologically driven to seek out.

So, what happens when both partners develop a take-it-or-leave-it attitude about sex? Right — they don’t have it very often. And their desire continues to wane.

If your partner no longer seems sexually attracted to you, your ego alone offers you reason enough to be nonchalant. Smile. And, yes, your nonchalance (like his) can be a big turn off. And the hard-to-get strategy can be downright ineffective played amidst the daily grind, breeding more resentment than desire.

If you want your partner to demonstrate heated desire, demonstrate your own.… More

Only what you’re not giving can be missing in your relationship. And you have it to give.

Give it, and it will come back to you.… More

If we start where we are now with what we have, we can trust love to forge a path that provides for our growth.… More