Love has no agenda …

She loves me, she loves me not. ‘Tis the season of romance and wildflowers, and they can both be erratic. But if we made them predictable, we’d rob them of their charm and whimsy … and call them by another name.

Romance, the very thing that enraptures us — and inspires commitment — is by nature volatile! It’s no wonder we often struggle to keep a commitment and, subsequently, grow gun-shy.

From one moment to the next, love seems to fluctuate; and so it is that one resorts to pulling petals. It’s not really love that springs up and then disappears, though. It’s our level of satisfaction with our relationship.

And while satisfaction is the most significant factor in commitment, we can gauge our overall satisfaction, rather than making a rash decision in an inflated or deflated moment.

When our satisfaction is low, the grass on the other side of the proverbial fence appears to be greener than it is, according to a commitment model developed by the late Caryl Rusbult, a noted psychologist. Conversely, when our satisfaction is high, we may dismiss the alternatives as irrelevant or inferior.

Sam (my husband) came up with the idea that when partners disagree, they should imagine that they’re the only two people left on planet earth.… More

I don’t presume to know what serves the highest good. And I trust that what ever I am presented with is intended for my learning. I am a full time student. … More

Sometimes we really believe that we’re striving for a loving relationship, when actually, we’re trying to get somebody else to conform to OUR IDEA of a loving relationship! We can’t do their striving, or their growing. We can’t decide what they’re ready for. We can’t even decide what a loving relationship looks like for them!

It’s wonderful to persevere in aligning with love and creating a relationship that reflects YOU. Live your dream! But don’t do the dreaming for somebody else … and then try to get them to work at living it. Let go of your notion of what’s right for somebody else.
And continue to revisit what’s right for you. If you have to push too hard or cling too tightly, maybe it’s not for you. Love is work! It’s responsible and persistent work; but it feels like being true to yourself, not trying to squeeze into a pair of jeans, a party, or a relationship that doesn’t fit.

Not sure if you’re truly loving your partner or pushing YOUR idea of a loving relationship? You can’t be responsible for how your partner feels, but how he feels can be telling. Does she feel respected OR disrespected by you?… More

Just getting to the truth can mean chaos. And then we have to process it. That’s how we grow into the fullness of who we are and the fullness of love.… More

I’m not actually a mother, but I am graced and grateful. Nicknac Dandron let us love him up close with no walls. He was ready for a hand up … and love flows both ways. We treasure this nephew, this God-given “son.”

Thank you, BB, for loving us the way you do.

Pictured: an orchid, chocolates, and a signature heart.
Not pictured: Jelly Bellies for Sam!
All left outside the door.… More

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