Love has no agenda …

You’ve never seen him (or her) before — the guy across the room smiling at you. And he’s hot, not because he has a chiseled jaw or even a full head of hair, but because he’s unabashedly looking at what he likes. You! Now what?

If you’re not in a relationship, you can’t wait to find out! If you are in a relationship, this is a test. How strong is your commitment, the thing that keeps you faithful?

You are likely to stay committed as long as you think you can get more of what you want where you are than you could get elsewhere; and you’re likely to break your commitment if you decide you can get more of what you want some place else. So, what do you want? Chances are, neither a chiseled jaw nor hot sex is at the top of your list. Knowing what IS on your list — as well as his — can keep you both satisfied, rather than feeling stuck. It’s not just a matter of staying or knowing that you will; it’s a matter of knowing that you want to.

You don’t commit once and for all; you are continually choosing.

And commitment is a two-edged sword.… More

Sometimes we really believe that we’re striving for a loving relationship, when actually, we’re trying to get somebody else to conform to OUR IDEA of a loving relationship! We can’t do their striving, or their growing. We can’t decide what they’re ready for. We can’t even decide what a loving relationship looks like for them!

It’s wonderful to persevere in aligning with love and creating a relationship that reflects YOU. Live your dream! But don’t do the dreaming for somebody else … and then try to get them to work at living it. Let go of your notion of what’s right for somebody else.

And continue to revisit what’s right for you. If you have to push too hard or cling too tightly, maybe it’s not for you. Love is work! It’s responsible and persistent work; but it feels like being true to yourself, not trying to squeeze into a pair of jeans, a party, or a relationship that doesn’t fit.

Not sure if you’re truly loving your partner or pushing YOUR idea of a loving relationship? You can’t be responsible for how your partner feels, but how he feels can be telling. Does she feel respected OR disrespected by you?… More

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It doesn’t matter where you are right now. Your situation does not, cannot define you. What’s within you is your essence and your greatest strength. Use that to face the truth.

You can survive in denial, but you cannot be at peace in denial. And you cannot move forward while living there.

Accept what is … and you can rise above it to be YOU. … More

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