Love has no agenda …

When’s the last time you tried something HE (or she) likes to do? Oh, and when’s the last time you grumbled because HE was doing it by himself?

Behavioral intimacy, or how much you like to do together, is one measure of compatibility. And you don’t really know if you like to jog, or golf, or play poker if you haven’t given it a fair chance. Try on his interests and enjoy the aspects that you CAN appreciate. You’ll learn more about what speaks to him, pleases him, energizes him, and relaxes him. You’ll also understand him better, which grows more love and acceptance.

If you’re thinking, “Yeah right, like he’s going to take me jogging,” ask yourself why he wouldn’t. Maybe he assumes you’re not inclined to jog, because YOU have assumed you’re not. Why?

Then, think about what you would absolutely love to do and invite him to join you. If he declines, you can suggest an alternative, or do it without him. He might surprise you by accepting your invitation … and posing his own. If you want an invitation, don’t nag or complain; just give him one! Stay in touch with what nurtures you — physically, mentally, or spiritually — and share it.… More

I love him? I love him not? You know the truth. Don’t be afraid of it.

We’ve all felt the torment of, “He loves me, he loves me not.” Sometimes we get so caught up in that refrain that we fail to objectively consider our own feelings.

Your love and desire aren’t contingent on his (or hers). And it’s much easier to know what’s in your heart than it is to know what’s in somebody else’s.

Even when we’re torn from one moment to the next, the answer is there. Sometimes we just don’t want to see the answer that’s spelled out in front of us.

If you’re struggling to decide — to date or not to date, to break-up or not, to get married or not — try the following:

~ Ask YOURSELF the question. Don’t get sidetracked trying to second guess what somebody else thinks or wants, and don’t take the easy way out by making somebody else responsible for choosing. Remember that it takes two, though.

~ Ask what you want to do — not what you should do.

~ Ask how you would counsel a friend struggling to answer the question. This allows you to stand back and be objective.… More

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